Time Has Changed Me
by itaintpretty
Summary: Nashville/Without a Trace Crossover. Teddy is trying to concentrate on getting his daughters through Rayna's accident, but then Danny Taylor shows up in Nashville, seeking out his old friend-now living under a new identity. It's been a long time since they've seen each other, who knows what will happen? And just what does Danny want from the Mayor? May become Danny/Teddy(Martin)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I...do not know that I'm doing with my life, but this is how I spent my night. It's probably a waste of time because I'm not sure how many WaT fans really watch Nashville or vice versa, let alone Danny/Martin shippers who watch Nashville for Eric's beautiful face (that might just be me, actually) plus I'm aware Teddy is nooot the most popular character in Nashville...but I have had this idea in my head for a while now. Not a lot is revealed in this chapter because I want to see people's reactions first before committing 100% to another multi-chapter (Promises and Politics will be updated soon I promise!) **

**As this is an AU fic, I'm disregarding Peggy and Teddy's relationship. I may mention her if I continue with this, but they probably won't be together romantically and she is noooot pregnant. Nope, no way. This takes place sometime after the Nashville Season One Finale, the WaT stuff I'll reveal later I guess...**

**This is un-beated because I had to publish this before I talked myself out of it haha. I hope somebody likes it! Review or PM me, I would really like feedback on this! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Nashville, Without A Trace or any character in this chapter. (Unfortunately!)**

* * *

"Are we going to see Mom today?" Daphne's voice was cheery, for which Teddy was supremely thankful. These last few days, his youngest daughter had been anything but her typical bubbly self. He was glad that yesterday's visit with her recovering mother had obviously lightened her spirits a little.

"Maybe later," he said, although he knew he knew this '_maybe_' was simply for his own sake. When it came to his girls, he was far too easily persuaded. Besides, even if things between him and Rayna were far from perfect, she was still the mother of his children and he was in no doubt whatsoever that they needed her.

As Daphne began to tell him all about a song she had written to sing her mother better, Teddy realised his older daughter was being much too quiet. He looked over to where she sat beside her sister at the kitchen counter.

"How about you Maddie?" he asked, trying to draw her glazed eyes back to him. "Did you help Daphne?"

Maddie shook her head, then looked away. Of course, she may have been back to acting like she didn't care about her mother now, but when they had first heard the news about Rayna and Deacon's car accident, she had cried so much Teddy had felt his heart rip in two.

"Uh, Daph, why don't you go practice that song so it's perfect for your Mom, huh?"

The younger girl was no fool-she knew why her father wanted her to leave them alone for a while. So, with a quick glance at her older sister, she hopped off the stool and skipped down the hall.

Teddy waited until he heard the click of her bedroom door closing before taking the seat she had just vacated. "You wanna talk about it?"

Maddie bit her lip. "When Mom gets out of hospital, do I stay here?"

Oh. Right. She was concerned about her place, now her world had been quite literally turned on it's side. Before the accident, she had been adamant that she wanted to live with him upon finding out they had lied to her about...well, about her paternity. Eventually, she had made up with Rayna, but the damage had already been done to their relationship, and they had all decided it was probably best if she _did_ stay with Teddy for a while.

Then her mother had almost died.

"I would love you to," Teddy admitted. He had never been good with saying the right thing, so he knew no words he would speak now would heal her wounds. "But...you can go back, if you need to."

Maddie looked up with him, those eyes he had once convinced himself were reflections of his- but that now, when the truth was out in the open and he had been forced to say the words 'I'm not your biological father' out loud, he saw they were Deacon's. It should anger him more than it did.

But the piece of paper in Rayna's closet that said he and Maddie did not have matching DNA didn't mean he had loved her any less; the last thirteen years wherein this girl had been the centre of his world did not disappear because she had read it.

_He_ was her father, and he always would be. The last week itself had shown that to be true. Deacon had called to talk to Maddie after the accident, but she had told Teddy she wasn't ready to speak to him. It did hurt that he knew someday she would be ready, but he knew his oldest daughter well enough to know that she wasn't about to begin calling the other man 'Daddy' or requesting to stay in his spare room at weekends. She was a smart girl who he prided to be one of his greatest accomplishments-as well as her sister, of course.

Their relationship would withstand this hurdle...he was sure of it.

Maddie's eyes filled with tears. "I want to stay with you forever," she said and when he pulled her into his arms she began to sob. "But Mom needs me. If I stay with you, she'll think I'm still mad at her...and then she might not get better..."

It was an excuse, and a poorly thought out one by a teenager desperate to be loved and wanted by both her parents. Teddy knew this, so he just held the broken girl of his a little tighter.

He had know this was coming, really. He'd known it from the moment he'd taken the girls to see their mother in the hospital for the first time. Rayna was still unconscious, her face bruised and her skin pale and all the wires connected to her body. Maddie had held her mother's hand, and he'd been standing far enough away to be unable to make out what she was whispering, yet his imagination filled in the blanks.

She felt guilty for kicking off at her mother. Even if they had reconciled, she was afraid of Rayna thinking she didn't love her. More than that, she'd come close to losing her Mom, it was bound to shock her so hard she would want to be near her again. It was a natural reaction, Teddy told himself.

And it would be selfish to resent her for this, of course. It would be feeding into his own insecurities. He couldn't allow his own apprehension regarding Rayna and Deacon to hurt his daughter.

He wouldn't let how he felt push Maddie away. So he pulled back from their hug and looked her in the eyes, cupping her face that still looked so little to him in his hands and wiping her tears with his thumb.

"I love you, Maddie. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know," she said, blinking furiously. "I love you too, Daddy."

"So I understand if you go home to be with your Mom when she gets out of hospital. I guess I'll just see you and your sister at the end of the week, when we swap again."

This children/house timeshare he had Rayna had agreed on was starting to become a challenge with both of their jobs and Rayna's new relationship, but they would made it work. They had to. _They_ were the parents.

His words seemed to have eased Maddie's concerns a little. She wiped her eyes, forcing a little smile. "I'm sorry."

_She_ was apologising...to _him_? He and Rayna had lied to her for her entire existence, and _she_ was saying sorry?

He took her hand in his own-the difference in size reminding him of the days when she used to want to hold her father's hand all the time. A lot of things had changed since then, but he told himself he could still be the hero she needed him to be. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

He was about to crack a joke, try and make her laugh, when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sighing, he looked apologetically at his daughter.

"I'll go help Daphne with her song," she said, and before the unexpected visitor had knocked again, she was gone.

With a sigh, he got up from the stool and made his way to the front door. He assumed it was Tandy, or someone equally as familiar with his security team who controlled his gate.

As long as it wasn't some crazed paparazzi demanding to know how the girls were handling their mother's accident, Teddy decided it didn't really matter who it was.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" he called out to whoever it was incessantly knocking on the other side of the door. He turned the lock and the handle, hoping that it wasn't work-related.

Being the Mayor of Nashville meant he never knew when a problem would arise, but he had hoped the people on the council would have the good grace to leave him alone this weekend so he could be with his children after their mother's accident.

Being the Mayor of Nashville, being Rayna James' husband, he had learned to expect the unexpected. But no politics-101 preparation by Lamar has prepared him for just who was standing on his doorstep.

"Good Morning, Mr Mayor," the soft, yet gravelly voice that had once been the undertone of his dreams said.

His brain couldn't function. Teddy just stared at this man, with the cocky smirk on that familiar face, his black hair tousled and wet from the rain outside, his brown eyes unblinking as he looked at Teddy like fourteen years and eight hundred odd miles had not passed since the last time they were together.

_Danny_._ Danny Taylor_.

He tried to speak, but no words would come. He felt like his throat was on fire, his heart was racing in his chest, his palms began to sweat.

"Mr Taylor says he's with the FBI, sir," a security guard Martin had not realised was standing with Danny on his front porch explained. "He wishes to speak to you about personal matters."

Personal matters? Teddy's first thought was of the Cumberland deal. Where the FBI on it? Had it _escalated_ that far? He knew the DA was planning to investigate it, but he had never imagined...

Almost as soon as this thought appeared in his mind he shook it from there. Danny was a FBI Agent, yes. But he found missing people, he didn't uncover dodgy business cover-ups.

Or did he? It had been fourteen years. A lot could change in that time. For all he knew, Danny could be working on an entire different unit now.

Fourteen years could change a person. Teddy should know that, shouldn't he?

"I think I can take it from here," Danny said to the security guard, offering up his most charming smile that made Teddy shiver a little.

The security guard looked at Teddy, obviously skeptical of leaving the Mayor alone. Teddy forced himself to nod in agreement-about all his brain could manage to do.

As the larger man turned and began to walk away, Teddy considered the ways to get out of this situation. Slam the door in Danny's face; run to his car and get the hell away from Nashville; leave this damn state and this figure from his past in a cloud of dust and start over, start again.

None of which he could do, of course. Because he had responsibilities here, as Mayor; because there were two little girls in the other room who needed him; because Danny Taylor had no claim to the man that was Teddy Conrad.

"Are you going to invite me in?" Danny's voice, breaking through his thoughts. "Or are we supposed to have this conversation on your porch, a few feet away from the reporters?"

He couldn't see them from his door, but he could hear them calling out his name, Maddie's name, Daphne's name. Rayna's name.

"I have nothing to say to you," Teddy said, finally finding his voice. He went to close the door, but Danny was quicker. He wedged his foot in the doorway, jamming it open.

Danny let out a little chuckle, and that was all it took for Teddy to feel twenty-six again, driving in the car with his best friend humming along to a stupid Spanish song on the radio. He was falling in love for real for the first time in his life with somebody who looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars. He was someone else, for the split second that the laugh lasted for, and it was all too much, all too soon.

Fourteen years, and Teddy was still not ready for this sure-to-be-disastrous reunion; the hundreds of questions this man in front of him must have; the anger, the disappointment, the confusion.

"Thing is, Martin," Danny said, raising an eyebrow in a way that would once have made his stomach flip, instead of the knot that was currently forming there. The sound of that name, of all it meant and the promise it held, it made his hands shake. "_I_ have a lot to say to _you_."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is really short, but I can't get this fic out of my head so I just write whatever comes to me whenever. I know I planned to wait until I had a few reviews before writing more, but I feel like I have to do this now-if people read it or not it's a bonus! **

**If you ****_are_**** reading, please review or PM me to let me know what you think!**

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"You shouldn't be here," Teddy said, pacing the length of his kitchen.

Danny Taylor sat in the same spot Maddie had moments ago, looking smug and amused.

He looked around the kitchen, taking in the glass chandeliers; the marble counter tops; the shining floor Isobel, Teddy's maid, had polished not two hours ago. "So this is your place?"

Hint of something that might once have been admiration, but sounded closer to disapproval to Teddy's ears. He didn't move, he didn't speak. He just stood, feeling like a mouse waiting to be caught by a vicious cat.

Danny whistled. "It's nice. Really nice." He looked up, but Teddy looked away. This whole thing was bad enough, meeting Danny's eyes would make it damn near impossible. "You did good for yourself."

"What do you want?" Teddy's voice was low, quiet so the girls wouldn't overhear this particular conversation. He couldn't imagine what this would look like to their already-confused little minds.

A shadow of hurt passed across Danny's face-this lasted merely a second before his expression was neutral again. "Gee, Fitzie, it's nice to see you too."

"Don't call me that." The words, spoken harshly, were out of his mouth so quickly Teddy couldn't stop them. "Stop it. I-I'm not..._that_ person anymore."

Couldn't even force himself to say the name out loud.

Danny just blinked, like maybe he had expected this reaction. "Right," he said, his tone more than a tad patronising. "You're Mayor Teddy Conrad now, right?"

Teddy folded his arms. "How do you know?"

Danny smirked again, and wow, that was beginning to get irritating. "Hey, I do my research."

Without considering his next actions past the point of getting Danny successfully out the door, Teddy did what he had hoped he would never have to do in a difficult situation like this. He left the room for a moment to head to his study, and when he came back, he had his checkbook and a pen in his hand.

"How much will it take," he said, sounding like a crazed mafia boss or something equally as ridiculous, "for you to go back to New York and forget about the last ten minutes?"

Danny's face seemed to harden, Teddy saw the shutter in his eyes going up. He stared at Teddy like he was someone he had never seen before, all the familiarity and friendly banter chased off with one single sentence.

He stared at Teddy like he was a complete stranger, which was exactly what he had become.

"I didn't come here to be paid off," Danny said, anger evident, not so much in his words but in the spaces between them.

Now that Teddy looked at him, he saw that this man had changed too. Yes, he had the same loving eyes, but they held less excitement than he remembered. There were lines on his forehead and around his mouth, where there had not been any before. There was a small scar, about the length of a paper clip, above his right eyebrow; a scar which origins Teddy did not deserve to know.

And there was something about the way Danny held himself as he'd walked through Teddy's door and back into his life: his posture was that of someone with much more maturity than he'd had when they last met; his walk spoke of a contentment, a calming confidence-like perhaps during their time apart, Danny had finally found the missing piece of his puzzle.

There was a time, of course, that Teddy had hoped maybe _he_ could really be that missing piece.

"Look, what do you want from me?" Seeing this blast from his past had drawn all energy from Teddy. He didn't want to go round in circles with this man, he just wanted him to leave, so he could go back to pretending Danny Taylor had never existed.

"What I've always wanted," Danny said frankly, and his words made the hair on the back of Teddy's neck stand up on ends. "I want you to come home."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Flashback!chapter...not a good one, unfortunately. I'm not sure who comes across worse in this chapter, Martin/Teddy or Danny. Well, regardless, they were both very confused, try not to hold it against those poor boys I put through hell so much!**

**Thank you Cores for your lovely review (and for all your other reviews, on my collab with Ruby and my solo fics too! You have honestly made my day so many times you don't know!), this is an idea I've had for a long time and I've finally decided to write it! It makes me so happy to think that you see the potential in it-I was worried not many WaT fans really watch Nashville or that Nashville fans just don't like Teddy. Personally, Teddy is my favourite character (although I may be bias considering my love for Eric Close in general...) so I felt like there needed to be another fanfiction about him! **

**Also, thank you to Megan and Aoibheann for your encouragement in whatever I write! Love you guys! **

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_When he opened his eyes, he was tucked beneath the sinks in the men's bathrooms at the New York courthouse. His knees were pulled to his chest, his entire body was shaking so hard and the hammering in his chest had subsided only a little in the seconds he had been passed out._

_Another panic attack-or whatever this state he kept working himself into was clinically called. He blinked away the tears forming in his eyes, then tried to focus on his breathing instead._

_In, out. In, out._

_"Here you are," a voice said, and before Martin could stop himself, he jerked away from the shadow of the person standing above him._

_His father crouched to get a good look at Martin, the expression of hurt evident on his face at the ridiculous thought his son might fear him. "Martin," he said, his voice softer than he had ever heard it before, laced with confusion and helplessness. "It's alright. It's me."_

_He was such a disaster, such a mess. He was a man, for God's sake. But here he was, crying like a child in a public bathroom after running out of the courtroom when his friend had needed his support._

_"D-Danny," Martin managed to murmur. His father shook his head._

_"Danny is fine. Martin, let me take you home."_

_He held his hand out for Martin to take for a second, but Martin couldn't and so he quickly pulled it back. His father cleared his throat and stood up, straightening his tie in the mirror. "It's over, Martin. You've said what you had to say; you've given your testimony. It's out of our hands now."_

_Out of his hands, but stuck in his head. The months since their ordeal had been traumatic enough, being on the witness stand today had broken apart what was left of the man he once was._

_Reluctantly, and regretting it with every movement, Martin edged his way out from under the sinks. "I-I'm sorry I left like that."_

_He stood up, shoulder-to-shoulder with his father now. He looked at the older man in the mirror-questioned silently, but not for the first time, how on earth it could be that they were so closely related. He wondered why his Dad had been the one to find him; he wondered how the greatest stranger in his life knew where he would be hiding._

_The car ride was painfully quiet. Neither of them spoke, until they were parked outside Martin's apartment complex. He watched as his father unbuckled his seatbelt._

_"You're coming in?" Martin asked, the words tumbling from his mouth with little regard with how they sounded spoken aloud._

_His father just nodded. "We have some things to discuss."_

_What things? That Martin was a failure? That he no longer wanted him associated with their well-respected family? That he had been right all along when he'd warned his son the FBI was not for him?_

_The panic attack had taken all the energy Martin had possessed, so he didn't argue. He just slipped out of the passenger seat and followed his father into the building._

_"Pack your things," Victor told Martin when they were safely inside his little apartment._

_Normally, he would have protested. Staying with his parents would only make him feel worse, he was sure. Still, he had to admit that being away from Danny for a while was appealing._

_He didn't think his slowly-vanishing sanity could handle any more of the Danny-Elena love fest that had swept the office up. It was his own fault, of course. He'd had hundreds of chances to make a move on Danny, to make his feelings known, to make things work between them. But since that horrible two weeks they'd spent together in the basement of some nutcase's log cabin, Martin couldn't find it in himself to care about any type of relationship in his life._

_It made it even worse that Danny had already gotten mostly back to the way he had been before their kidnapping. He was laughing again, cracking jokes. When they had been recovering in hospital, he had even flirted with the nurses. And now, he was building a new life with Elena._

_Meanwhile, Martin was tortured by nightmares of their time as hostages. He was haunted by his new-found knowledge- the number of minutes it took to for someone to bleed out when they stabbed themselves in the throat with a pencil; the number of days a little girl could go without food before she gave up and begged them to kill her; the language of terror, the meaning of various screams. The number of times he could have done something-should have done something-but was too terrified to take action._

_In a way, he resented Danny for moving on from the pain. His friend was hurting too, of course. He'd even broken down in the middle of Martin's testimony. But he had a woman who loved him holding his hand, a step-daughter who thought he hung the moon to go home to, a life beyond the abuse they suffered when their undercover-stint went horribly wrong._

_Getting away from his friend before the love he had once felt for him changed to hatred seemed like a good idea in Martin's mind._

_He packed what little things that did not remind him of what had happened. Clothes, basic necessities. While he was retrieving his shaving foam from the bathroom cabinet, his father picked up a Christmas photo of the team that was sitting on Martin's bedside table._

_"They'll miss you," he said._

_Martin tossed the shaving foam into the suitcase. "They'll survive. I'm useless at work, anyway."_

_"I believe their bond with you goes far beyond the job, Martin." He didn't really know what to say to that, so Martin just shrugged. His father pointed to Danny's face, smiling widely in the picture next to Martin. "Especially him."_

_Suddenly, Martin felt uncomfortable with the turn this conversation had taken. He didn't want to go into this-not now and certainly not with his father of all people. So he took the picture out of his father's hands and set it back where it belonged, by the bed he no longer had use for now he wasn't sleeping at night._

_Then, he turned away from Victor and continued to pack._

* * *

_"Where are we going?" Martin asked, taking in the unfamiliar turn-off. He must have fallen asleep, because it was dark now, and they had been driving for hours. "Why aren't we going to the airport? Are you driving to DC?"_

_"It's better this way," his father told him, sounding more desperate to reassure himself than Martin and not really answering any of his questions._

_"Dad?" Martin asked, his voice sounding like a child's. He sounded so small, so in-need of something he couldn't put a name to. "What's going on?"_

_"My father died when I was five years old," Victor said, and Martin realised they were obviously not having the same conversation. "I barely remember him and my mother only re-married after I had moved out. It's no excuse, but I thought you should understand that I really didn't have much to go on."_

_"You're not making sense," Martin said, rubbing his forehead to soothe the ache that was surfacing there. He was still so tired, so weak from earlier, he couldn't handle this cryptic talk._

_"I tried to do right by you. But my career has always come ahead of my family, even when I tried to tell myself it didn't."_

_Was his father..._apologising_? Martin felt his cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. He had never heard this man sound...sorry before. He didn't know what reply his dad wanted from him. "Look, Dad-"_

_"I haven't been a good father; I know. Financially I've always supported you, but there is more to being a parent than that."_

_"Dad, it's okay-"_

_"No, no it isn't. But it will be."_

_It was a little too late for the father-son fishing trips and bedtime stories he had craved as a child; nothing Victor could do or say would take back the last twenty-six years Martin had spent seeking his dad's approval only to constantly fall short. But if it would end this conversation quicker, Martin would agree to anything. "Yeah, sure-"_

_"-Open the glove compartment, Martin."_

_Martin blinked at his father, who never took his eyes off the long stretch of road in front of them. He snuck a glance at the compartment in question, then looked back to Victor. "Why?"_

_"You'll see."_

_This seemed like a really bad end to an action movie, or maybe a horror film-Martin couldn't decide. Was there a gun stashed there? Was his father going to ask him to do something crazy?_

_With a deep breath and some reluctance, Martin pulled back the slot to the compartment. There wasn't a gun, or something equally as exciting. It was filled with...papers._

_"What are these?"_

_A birth certificate, a driver's license with a southern code along the top, more documentation belonging to a man whose name rang no bells in Martin's mind. _

_"Your name is Teddy Conrad. You're the son of Henry Conrad. He's a politician for the state of Nashville. He divorced your mother when you were young and you lived with her. Now, in your late twenties, you're returning to Nashville to stay with him."_

_His words were coming so fast, hitting Martin so hard, like spitballs fired from the back row of his high school English class. "W-what are you talking about?"_

_"Witness protection programme," Victor illiterated. "I'm sure you've heard about it, Martin."_

_"Well, y-yeah but...I mean, I never agreed-"_

_"So you _don't_ wish to start over somewhere else? You _don't_ want to be someone else, if only for a while? A fresh start _won't_ do you the absolute world of good?"_

_Martin's head was pounding with the struggle to concentrate. "I-I mean yeah, of course, but-"_

_"-no buts, Martin." Victor continued to drive, never once turning to look at him. "I can't risk the bastard who is responsible for your current state getting out of prison or telling his associates to hurt you."_

_"B-but, what about Danny?" If Martin was in danger, so was his friend. He couldn't just clear off, knowing Danny and Elena and Sofie could be hurt while he was safe hundreds of miles away._

_"Agent Taylor will be fine. I give you my word, Martin."_

_What made Victor so sure he could protect Danny, but not his own son?_

_Martin looked down at the papers in his lap. Teddy Conrad. The letters on the page in front of him began to swim as his eyes filled with tears. His father wanted rid of him. He wanted him gone, completely. Erased from their family and erased from his life._

_Could Martin really blame him?_

_"I've never even been to Nashville," Martin murmured, acutely aware that he sounded like a petulant toddler who had been dragged on a road trip he didn't want to go on._

_"You'll soon adjust."_

_"W-what about my job?"_

_Finally, Victor turned to his son. "Do you really wish to return to the FBI?"_

_Martin didn't reply. There was no right answer. Whatever he said would be wrong._

_"That's what I thought," his father said, looking back at the road again. "Henry is an old friend of mine. I've briefed him on your situation, he is more than happy to help."_

_Sniffing, Martin asked, "Do I have a job in Nashville?"_

_Victor shook his head. "I'm sure Henry can find you something, if you wish."_

_Politics. The idea made Martin want to laugh out loud. He would rather die than go into that sort of world._

_"Won't everybody wonder where I've gone?" he asked, considering his mother but seeing only Danny's worried face in his mind._

_"I will take care of it."_

_"Dad, they find missing people for a living. They can track me down. They _will_."_

_"They won't find you," Victor said, quite possibly the first promise he had ever made Martin. "I will make sure of it."_

* * *

_It was later that night, unpacking in Henry's spare room after his father left, when Martin found the picture. The team Christmas photo. It had been taken from it's frame and slipped in among his socks and underwear. His father had written a message on the back at some point when Martin had been busy fretting about which shirts to take._

Do the right thing.

_Had Victor meant the right thing was to call them? To tell them himself where he was?_

_Or was the right thing to stay away, somewhere he couldn't shame his family and friends any more than he already had?_

_Crumpling this last reminder of his old life in his fist, Martin-no, Teddy, stuffed the photograph into the inside pocket of his suitcase, somewhere he would never have to look at it again. _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay so this chapter was mostly to draw a contrast between the way Martin/Teddy has changed since the flashback in the previous chapter. Life does that sometimes, but don't worry, I will let him redeem himself eventually. **

**Thank you for reviewing and following. This story is one I'm very excited to write and am enjoying planning for so it is lovely to know people are enjoying reading it. As always, continued feedback is lovely! **

* * *

"I'd like you to leave now," Teddy said, biting back a sharp remark as Danny rolled his eyes.

"Jesus Christ, did we not just establish I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out?" He was tapping his fingers against Teddy's countertop, impatient and immature and so Danny that Teddy's heart kept skipping beats.

"I don't have time for this," he said, thinking fast. "I-I have to be somewhere."

Danny folded his arms and blinked expectantly at Teddy. "Oh yeah? Where?"

"My wife is in hospital," he blurted out, then he inwardly cringed when Danny flinched at the words 'my wife.' "Well, my ex-wife," he added, to ease the blow, even if had been intended.

Danny looked up and stared at him blankly. "That is the worst excuse I have ever heard."

"It's true!" Teddy argued, and then he remembered he was the freaking Mayor of Nashville- it was beyond unprofessional for him to argue with a FBI agent. "I don't have to justify myself to you."

"No," Danny agreed, nodding. "You don't. You've made that quite clear."

Teddy felt a blush rise on his cheeks at the cold words. "Listen, Danny," he said quietly, his resolve broken only slightly by the other man's obvious hurt. "I can't do this with you right now. I-I have a family to take care of, I'm in the middle of my first term as Mayor, I have far too much going on to get into...this. Maybe in a few months..."

Danny burst out laughing, making Teddy physically jump. "You think I came here to steal you away? Sweep you off your feet? Aw man, all these country love songs are really going to your head."

Teddy blinked, stunned momentarily. "But you said-"

"That I needed to talk to you. Which I do." Danny eyed Teddy up and down, like he was considering if he had _really _found the man he'd been looking for. "Is this my cue to explain?"

Teddy couldn't speak, the heat of Danny's eyes on his body was too much for the part of his brain that controlled speech to contend with. So he nodded, wondering, for just a split second, why the fact Danny had not come here to bring him home made him feel something so close to disappointment.

"I do want you to come home. But not for me. Look, Mar-uh, _Teddy_, it...it's your father," Danny said, his tone suddenly serious, the upbeat laughter of the last minute forgotten with those three words.

_It's your father. _

It was enough to shock Teddy's brain back to its original state. "I think I've heard enough. You can go now."

He stood and made his way to the door, ready to have Danny physically removed if that's what it took to get rid of him, to get rid of this conversation and all of the confusion and resentment resurfaced along with it.

Danny looked...shocked. He shook his head. "Come on, Martin. I know you and he never really...but listen, he's sick. He-"

"How many times do I have to tell you to _stop _calling me that?" Teddy's voice was louder than he intended, and it occurred to him that he could not remember ever really shouting at Danny before. He must have, over the course of their five year friendship, but in that moment all Teddy could think was: _Do you see now? I am not the same man you knew. _

"Dad?" Maddie's voice, and when he looked up she was standing under the arch leading into the hall. Daphne was standing beside her, eyes wide as they watched their father's temper disappear.

He didn't know how much they had heard; he didn't know if they'd ever heard him shout like that, but he had always prided himself as a calm father. Obviously, that ideal didn't hold much merit anymore.

"Ah, so these are the kids you're so crazy about," Danny said, the damage of Teddy's earlier tone and words forgotten as his expression changed from alarmed to wide-smiled. He stood up, made his way over to the girls and politely shook both of their hands. "I'm an old friend of your dad's. My name's Danny."

Both girls returned his smile. Maddie blushed when he took her hand. Daphne giggled.

"Daddy's never mentioned you before," Daphne said.

Maddie elbowed her, but it was too late. Still, Danny never once faltered. "Oh well, that's because we didn't part on the greatest terms." He turned back to Teddy. "Right, buddy?"

Teddy swallowed and forced himself to nod. He had to give credit where it was due, Danny was damn good at thinking on his feet. Had he even know Teddy had kids?

"How come?" Daphne asked, running up and taking a seat at the kitchen counter.

Danny walked back to where Teddy stood. He clasped his shoulder; Teddy tried very hard not to squirm away.

"It's a long story," Danny shrugged. "I'm sure your dad will tell you sometime."

As his daughters looked to him, Teddy felt his cheek flame. He was going to _kill _Danny Taylor for putting him in this situation. "Maybe."

"Is that why you two were fighting?" Maddie asked, looking from her father to the stranger in their kitchen and back again.

"Yeah, you were yelling at him, Dad," Daphne chirped up.

Danny whistled and turned to Teddy. "Damn, you've got two smart kids." Then, he winked at the girls. "You must get it from your mother," he stage-whispered as they both laughed.

Then, a thought occurred to Teddy. This was _his _house, _his _life. He wasn't going to let Danny Taylor walk right in, win over his daughters and convince him to return to New York and leave everything he had worked for behind. He was Mayor Teddy Conrad. And _he _was in control.

"Girls, go get ready. We're going to go visit your mother."

Maddie and Daphne- set alight by this prospect, practically skipped out of the room, with mumbles of 'Will you do my hair?' and two small waves after Danny said it was his pleasure to meet them. When they left Teddy alone with this ghost of the past, he headed straight for the front door and held it open wide.

"You sure have two cute kids there," Danny said with a soft and genuine smile.

"You're going to have to go now," Teddy explained slowly, since the other man was still standing in his kitchen, hands in his pockets, like he truly believed he belonged there.

"You haven't even _listened _to what I have to say-"

"-You've said enough," Teddy replied, gesturing for Danny to make his way out the door.

"No, I _haven't_. Listen...if you'd stop acting like the spoilt bastard you've turned into for fifty seconds you would be able to understand why I'm here-"

"_I. Don't. Care_." He was being harsh, rude, but just who did Danny think he was? Showing up like this in Teddy's world after all these years? Why was he threatening the life his once-best-friend had built himself?

Wasn't Elena enough for him anymore?

"But it's your father. Your _Dad. _He has cancer, okay? He's sick. _Really _sick." Danny took a deep breath. "He's _dying_, man."

If Danny had expected his words to reduce Teddy to an emotional mess, he was sadly mistaken. Teddy did not flinch, and it wasn't even an act. He didn't feel shock; he didn't feel grief. He had stopped feeling anything for the man Danny was talking about a long time ago.

"I appreciate you coming all this way to fill me in," Teddy said politely, although this was a lie. A phone call after the funeral would have sufficed. Or better yet, no contact at all. Teddy could have continued his life minus this piece of news with no bother at all.

Danny just stared at him, a look on his face that Teddy was glad he couldn't read. "You're something else, you know that?" Luckily, he seemed to be finally taking on board Teddy's many hints, as he walked right up to him-closer to the door. "What the hell _happened _to you?"

_You, _Teddy thought.

More answers began to surface in his mind: _I took the chance at a fresh start; I grew up. _

"Life happened," he said honestly. "I changed."

"Yeah," Danny said, once again eyeing him up and down, except this time he didn't even attempt to hide the disappointment in his eyes. "I can see that."

And then, just as quickly as he'd breezed into Teddy's life again, Danny Taylor walked back out of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: whoops, I'm very sorry this took a while! School and exam results and life in general took over haha, but I should hopefully have the next chapter up soon as I've already started it! **

**This is pretty long (almost 6 full pages according to Word!) so hopefully that makes up for the delay. I plan to do the next chapter from Danny's POV so you can get a picture of what's going on with him and his life- let me know if you like the sound of that! **

**As always, I can't say thank you enough for comments/reviews etc. and just generally taking the time to read my fic! x**

* * *

It had been almost 24 hours since Danny Taylor had appeared on his doorstep armed with misguided good intentions and all the wrong things to say. Teddy had spent the last day trying to re-train his mind to forget about the other man.

And he'd accomplished it too- well, he was _getting _there, at least- when he heard _that _self-satisfied voice behind him in the local coffee shop as he paid the barista at the counter. "Taking a break from running your state into the ground?"

He was joking, of course, and thankfully nobody in the coffee shop seemed to have heard him, but Teddy blushed anyway.

He turned on his heel, ready to ignore Danny and walk right out again when he felt a hand on his arm. He tried to glare at Danny, but the brown eyes he'd once fallen for, now blinking at him hopefully, made this near impossible.

"Can we talk?"

"I think we did enough of that yesterday," Teddy said, forcing him to jerk away from Danny's touch. But, as much as he knew he should, he just couldn't make himself storm out.

Danny smiled, apologetic but weary- an olive branch between two old friends whose relationship time had not been kind to. "I want to apologize."

That was news to Teddy. Shouldn't _he _be the one apologizing? He _had _sort of kicked Danny out of his house, after all.

"You don't have to do that," Teddy replied quietly, unable to ignore the guilt beginning to form inside him.

"Yes, I do." Danny gestured to the table furthest from the window. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Feigning deliberation regarding this proposition, Teddy glanced at his watch, even though he had nowhere to be. He should say no, excuse himself politely and walk out the door, try and forget this had ever happened. But Danny was looking at him like they had not spent the last fourteen years in two separate states, like perhaps he hadn't shown up in Teddy's life to destroy it.

With a reluctant sigh, Teddy nodded. "You have five minutes."

Danny smiled wider, taking a seat with his own hot beverage while Teddy picked up some milk and sugar sachets. "So where are your kids today?" Danny asked.

"Their aunt took them to see their Mom," Teddy admitted. "It was getting a little..._awkward_, my being there."

Danny nodded. "They really seem like two great kids. The little one looks like you." Teddy didn't answer; instead he handed Danny one milk and two sugars- convincing himself it was neither sad nor pathetic that after all this time he still remembered the way the other man took his coffee. To his surprise, Danny shook his head. "Actually, I just drink it black these days."

Teddy told himself that a stupid little change like that one should not make him feel like his heart had just been sliced open, but he couldn't deny that it did. It was such a minor detail, but it had been an intimate one between two people so close they could sometimes finish each other's sentences.

If he hadn't viewed Danny as a stranger before, then he sure did now.

Teddy added his own sugar with a shaking hand then took a sip of hot coffee, reveling in how the burn of it along his throat hurt, in spite of the numbness he felt everywhere else.

"So yesterday I was a little..._harsh _with you," Danny murmured, and Teddy took a little comfort in the fact that apologizing did not seem particularly _easy _for him. That much hadn't changed, at least. "I should have broken it to you a little more gently. It's bound to be a shock for you, me showing up here out of nowhere and springing news about your dad's health on you like that."

"A little warning you were coming would have been nice," Teddy agreed, smiling for the first time in Danny's presence.

Danny shrugged. "I was worried you would tell me not to come."

"You had to be face-to-face to tell me?"

Danny looked down at the floor. "Maybe I just wanted to see for myself that you're okay."

Teddy felt a tug inside his chest. "And? What's the verdict?"

He seemed to consider this. "You've got two wonderful daughters who you obviously love very much, but you're newly divorced and struggling to figure out just how you fit into the family dynamic now you don't see them as much as you'd like. You have a difficult relationship with your ex-wife, and you don't accept nearly as much blame as you should for that, and deep down you want her to be happy-but that's hard to admit when you're the one going home alone everyday." Danny began tapping his fingers again, a habit he did not have back when Teddy had loved him. "On top of all that, you're battling through your first term as Mayor, trying to keep everybody happy and not screw things up- but nobody told you it would be this hard to be needed by an entire state."

Teddy tilted his head to one side. "Am I that obvious?"

Danny shook his head and laughed. "Nope. Actually, I got most of that from a magazine I read on the plane over here."

Teddy chuckled before he remembered to stop himself. "It's rare that I'm portrayed so well by the media."

Danny narrowed his eyes. "Most victims who find their way into the witness protection programme don't go for as high-profile lifestyles as you have, you know."

The thought had crossed Teddy's mind before, of course. Was it really safe for him to put himself out there, safe for his family to be photographed with him? But of course that kind of thinking usually led back to Danny, so it had become a reflex action to rid his brain of it before it could do real damage to his heart or his conscience.

"I stopped needing protected, I guess." The truth was, Teddy's new life had, at some point, changed from a means of security to the chance of re-inventing himself. He couldn't pinpoint the moment New York became his old life, or when the invisible line between who he he once was and who he now could be had been drawn. Perhaps around the time he had received a letter in the mail, forwarded from some federal office in Washington that he guessed belonged to his father, assuring him of his safety and encouraging him to come out of hiding now that the men behind his leaving had been imprisoned for the foreseeable future. Of course, by then, he had met Rayna. By then, he had already found what his life in New York had been missing.

Teddy looked up to meet Danny's curious gaze. A thousands things he should say sprang to his mind in that single moment: _I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye; I never wanted you to blame yourself; I've missed you. _

But instead, he caught sight of Danny's bare ring-finger and managed to blurt out, relief far too evident, "You didn't marry Elena?"

For a splinter of a second a shadow of hurt clouded Danny's features, but then he looked away from Teddy. "I did. But things...they didn't work out like I'd hoped."

It surprised Teddy that he didn't sense even a hint of bitterness in that tone. At the present moment, he and Rayna could barely manage to be in the same room as each other without it turning into a blame game of accusations and frustration.

Obviously realising why Teddy had gone quiet, Danny reached out, touched his wrist- a tiny comfort which neither man would once have thought anything of, but for some strange reason felt..._unnatural_, uncomfortable in the present situation. "It gets easier," Danny assured him. "It's harder on the kids, I think."

Teddy thought of Daphne, who still didn't understand why her parents had called it quits. Of Maddie, who felt like she had to pick a side.

"You have any?" Teddy asked, not sure why he felt disappointed when Danny nodded. Danny had always been great with kids, and he knew he should be happy for his friend. Still, a selfish part of him couldn't help but wonder if maybe an empty life would mean he'd be more likely to stay in Nashville- even if it was something Teddy wasn't quite sure he wanted.

"I adopted Sofie just after we got married- Carlos signed over his rights," Danny explained. He lifted up his iPhone; within seconds he had a photo on screen of a smiling teenage girl Teddy recognised only by the eyes she shared with Elena Delgado, holding a diploma in a graduation cap.

Teddy felt his throat swell shut. He wasn't an idiot and he wasn't oblivious; he knew that while he'd been in Nashville, creating a new life for himself, time at home had not stopped. Still, seeing the years he'd missed represented in this girl-no, _woman_, now- who had been in elementary school with pigtails and a missing front tooth the last time he had laid eyes on her, made it all the more real.

He finally realised then: life did not have a pause button. In fourteen years, your best friend could be married and divorced; the person you had memorised might have changed the way he takes his coffee and taken up an annoying habit; a man who had once swore to wait forever for you may well have moved on with his life, one you could not slot into as seamlessly as you imagined. A little girl who used to beg for piggybacks and believed in Santa Claus could have grown into a beautiful young woman with a bright future ahead of her- birthdays and ballet recitals and softball games would continue, uninterrupted. In fourteen years, your father could fall ill and finally want to see you; a constant figure you thought would live forever could be dying by degrees.

In other words, Teddy finally saw what Danny and everybody else he'd left behind must have been plagued with for years: when you walked out on your own life, unintentionally or not, you also walked out on the people in it.

Before Danny could inadvertently make him feel any worse, the name 'Luisa' flashed up on the screen beneath the words 'Incoming call.'

Teddy's stomach tied itself in knots, his heart dropped.

Danny said he was no longer married, not that he wasn't seeing anybody. The look on the other man's face when he saw the caller ID was all the confirmation Teddy needed. Danny glanced up at him, regretfully. "I have to take this," he said, and without waiting for Teddy to assure him it was alright, Danny tapped accept and held his cell to his ear.

"Hey, it's me," he greeted. Teddy pretended to be engrossed in stirring his coffee, but really he just couldn't stand to look at Danny, afraid his face had lit up by the sound of this stranger's voice.

He only had himself to blame for not knowing Luisa. There had been a time when he would have known practically every detail of Danny's new relationship- their friendship had been _that _intimate. Maybe he would even have gone to dinner with this woman, been introduced to her at Danny's apartment. Maybe he would approve of her if he'd seen for himself that she deserved Danny.

"What? Is everything okay?" The concern in Danny's tone still was not enough to force Teddy to meet his eyes. "Are you sure? Alright. Yeah, look I'll hop on the next flight, okay? Listen, I'll call you when I get to the airport."

He hung up and shook his head, blinking like maybe he was past the point of confusion. "Uh, I'm really sorry but I-"

Teddy raised his hand to silence Danny. He'd had fourteen years to prepare for a goodbye, and now that it was here he wished more than anything it wasn't.

Danny pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket, pulled Teddy's hand across the table and scrawled down an address that was nothing familiar to him. His heart lifted a little.

"Your place?" This was good, he told himself. Danny wanted him to visit.

_It was better than nothing. _

Upon reading the words a second time, Teddy realised it was located in a gated community far out of Danny's price-range, somewhere in the Hamptons. Disappointment weighed heavy in his heart, he felt his palms begin to sweat with the realisation that Danny had given up on them, but not on his reasons for coming to Nashville.

"Your parent's address. Please, Mar-uh, Teddy. If you don't...you'll regret it."

Teddy pulled his hand away. "I don't need a lecture from you."

Danny didn't seem to have heard him and if he did, well, he continued regardless. "I know things between you and Victor haven't always been great…"

Barked out a laugh of sarcasm because that was an understatement if he'd ever heard one. And since when had Danny been on first-name terms with his father?

"You don't know the first thing about us." Much more bitterness than Teddy intended but he couldn't help it- who did Danny think he was, showing up in his life uninvited and telling him what he should and shouldn't do with regards to his own father?

"It's not even about your dad. If you can't come home for him, do it for your mom."

"My mother?" Teddy knew he shouldn't ask, shouldn't allow himself to be pulled in...but he couldn't help it. His relationship with his mother was perhaps only marginally better than his relationship with his father, but that didn't mean he didn't love her; that didn't mean he didn't feel an overwhelming rush of guilt when he thought of her, of how he left without saying goodbye.

Danny looked down, shook his head, and then looked back up with eyes filled with sympathy. "Your father doesn't want to die and leave her wondering where you are."

She didn't _know_? Teddy had assumed his father had told her when he'd returned to New York after leaving his son on the doorstep of somebody he hardly knew, like an unwanted package he wished to return.

"Your father has been trying to get in contact with you for over a year," Danny said slowly, like he was anticipating a greater reaction than just the quick shrug which greeted his statement.

It was true. But Teddy had caller ID, and seeing an unrecognisable number with a DC or NY area code was enough for him to reject the call, block the number, without ever needing to answer. On the morning of his substitute father's funeral, Teddy had received a letter with a Washington address on it, perhaps the one that was now written on his hand- he couldn't remember. He didn't bother to open it- just tore it in half and stuffed it in the back of his bottom drawer, the sender stuffed firmly to the back of his mind.

"I would hardly call a handful of phone calls and one lousy letter '_trying', _Danny,_" _Teddy said with a snort.

Danny's eyes seemed to darken. "It's a handful of phone calls and a letter more than the effort _you _were too busy to make."

Teddy sat back, wounded. He glanced at Danny's iPhone. "Don't you have a life to get back to?"

Danny blinked at him, then began to laugh, but Teddy sensed he was far from off the hook. Danny nodded towards the writing on the his hand. "Come home. Just for one day," he said. He looked away regretfully, like maybe he had more connection to this scenario than Teddy had imagined. "They need to see you, buddy. If it's the only thing you ever do for them again, do this."

"I seem to remember you weren't always this forgiving yourself when it came to family," Teddy said, although he immediately wished he hadn't. They'd both known what he meant by those words- Rafi.

Danny met his eyes again, hardened and resolved. "My brother was stabbed one month before being released from jail three years ago." He looked down at his phone, at a screensaver Teddy did not deserve to see. "Nobody should have to die without peace, Martin."

Before Teddy could apologise for Danny's loss that he should never have been cruel enough to bring up, or correct the name Danny insisted on calling him, the other man had stood up, pocketed his phone and walked out on him for the second time in two days.

Try as he might, Teddy couldn't seem to rekindle the same relief he had felt the previous time. Instead, he felt the absence of Danny immediately. Should he go after him?

But then his cell bleeped, an incoming call from Tandy, probably telling him Rayna was tired and he should come get the girls. With a final glance out the window to see Danny climb into his rental car, Teddy accepted the call.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am horribly slow and I apologise! Thankfully school is beginning to settle down so I'll have Friday as my uploading day (I will try for every Friday but it may sometimes be every other Friday, Promises and Politics is taking priority right now) to make up for the delay, this is the longest chapter so far I think! **

**Thank you for your patience, I promise I will try to be quicker in future! Thank you for reviewing and reading, I so so enjoy writing this fic when I have the time and energy to do so! **

* * *

Danny Taylor had always loathed airports. It stemmed from a fear of flying, he knew that much, and as juvenile as it was, he always did his absolute best to avoid being within 100 feet of an airplane.

Which was why he had braved the hellish and ridiculous thirteen hour drive to Nashville two days ago. _And_ why he had planned to drive back tomorrow night, Martin Fitzgerald in tow.

In hindsight, it was pretty obvious he had been a little _too _idealistic.

He knew Martin would show up eventually. His friend had changed dramatically, there was no question- but he was not heartless: seeing the way he looked at those little girls had made Danny see that. He _would _be here.

Depending on him to show up before it was too late was another thing entirely, though.

The flight took two hours- although of course it felt much longer to Danny- and when he finally arrived at LaGuardia it was late afternoon, and, in sickening contrast to Nashville Tennessee, it was raining heavily.

When he eventually located his car in the airport parking lot, Danny climbed inside and started the engine, turning the heating up as high as it would go in a feeble attempt to re-claim the warmth he had felt not four hours previously.

He drove to Lusia's office as quickly as he could- New York traffic made it practically impossible to _speed, _per say, but he did what the pathetic road-code allowed.

When he finally arrived at the building where she worked, he parked his car and made a dash for the lobby. He attempted to shake himself dry whilst waiting on the elevator, but instead he found himself watching warmly from afar as a little Asian girl held the hand of her two African-American parents. A man smiling triumphantly with a file tucked securely under his arm waved them off as they too made a run for their car, braving the weather- and the world- as a family for perhaps the first time.

The ding of the elevator tore Danny's attention back to his own situation. He got in, along with the successful social worker who was still smiling, and pressed a button to take him to the fourth floor.

When the elevator stopped at Luisa's floor, Danny made his way down the halls that he had spent more time pacing than he had ever imagined he would. He stopped walking only when he saw Luisa closing the door of a 'family room' behind her.

"Danny," she said, and it took all of his strength to stop in his tracks and _not _bull on into the room. But he still had no idea what had happened: he needed to be prepared. "I'm really sorry to have had to call you. I know you were out of town for a few days."

Danny swallowed, unable to respond to her apology when he realized she was not her usual optimistic self- this was obviously more serious than he'd thought. "Where is he?" Surprised himself slightly by how pleading he sounded-how emotionally wiped out by the reunion with Martin that had not been what he'd envisioned it would be.

Luisa put her hand on his arm, an attempt to urge him to regain his composure, composure he barely realized he had lost. "Danny, he's alright. But I do want to talk to you before you see him."

Danny blinked at her. "What happened?" He followed her down the hall a little further, into her cluttered office. When they went inside, she flopped down at her desk and buried her face in her hands.

"I was just trying to do what I thought was right," she murmured. He knew what she was doing: blaming herself, just like she always did. Luisa cared too much, something Danny had discovered years ago. As a result, every time something went wrong, she beat herself up for it. It was rarely ever down to her, of course, but Danny assumed that was simply a testament to how dedicated she was to her job, to the kids she worked with.

"Can you fill me in here?" Danny demanded, trying not to sound any harsher than necessary. "You said on the phone Caleb wouldn't talk to you."

She looked up at Danny and for the first time, he noticed the dark rings around her eyes. When was the last time she had slept through the night? "He won't," she said, and Danny heard her voice begin to waver and hitch with the effort of not crying. "He won't tell me what happened."

"Well I mean he called you, he must have told you _something_…"

"Actually, it was Lacey who called me." Luisa took her glasses off, set them gently on her desk and began to massage her eyes. "He stormed out, she called me to go find him."

Ever since Caleb was a little kid, leaving was his way of dealing with things. In eight months, and at four years old, he had ran away four times from the care home he had be placed in prior to living with Danny. Of course, Danny fostering him had not been a magic spell; overnight, Caleb had not suddenly changed his ways and no longer saw running as his only way of escape- there had been countless times over the last ten years Danny had found himself searching for Caleb after an argument. Still, not once had he ever needed to call Luisa to help him find his foster son- it was something he had always been fiercely determined to do alone, something that would ultimately bring them closer together, something that would help the young boy feel a little more secure and loved.

Clearly Caleb's mother did not see it like this.

"Where was he?"

"Your apartment," Luisa sighed. "He'd ran all the way there."

It was at least six miles between Lacey's flat and Danny's apartment, but he knew Caleb hadn't realized the distance when he'd been hyped up, especially if he was agitated and upset.

"And then what? He wouldn't tell you what happened?"

Luisa nodded grimly. "Yes. He just..._ignored_ me. He's angry. He thinks it's my fault Lacey let him down again."

Something inside Danny seemed to twinge, a stab at his heart he couldn't see but could feel regardless, a unique pain that came only from loving a child so much more than you had loved before. "Let him down?"

"She says she doesn't think it's a good idea if he continues to spend weekends with her."

"It's only been three weeks!" He was losing it, but he couldn't help himself. Caleb's mother had been much more interested in her long succession of boyfriends than she ever had been in her son- a fact which was beyond Danny's ability to comprehend, considering how much _he _loved Caleb. As a result, she had been drifting around Caleb's life for a long time, spending more time out than in. It was her loss- it always had been- but Danny knew that would do little to ease the sting her rejection had yet again caused. "She hasn't even fucking _tried_!"

"She was high when I got there," Luisa murmured. "I couldn't even look at her."

_Then it's no wonder Caleb couldn't, _Danny thought. Swallowing hard, he spoke: "I need to see him."

Luisa muttered something and then went back to burying her face in her hands, cursing herself and her stupid intentions. Danny knew Caleb had been left in one of the rooms down the hall, and he had enough experience with this floor to be able to find him without Luisa's help.

After some minutes that passed in a frantic haze, he finally did- by the coke machine, of course, because despite the fact Caleb had felt more rejection in his thirteen years than most had in a lifetime, he was still an average teenager. A thousand things he wanted to say to Caleb, but only one question surfaced: "Why didn't you call me?"

And that was not the right thing to say, but if Danny had proven one thing to himself over the last few days, it was that he was absolutely awful at conjuring the correct words in moments when he needed to the most.

Thankfully, Caleb was far less touchy than Martin Fitzgerald and with only half of the chip Danny's former best friend was shouldering. Aside from that, in this case, it appeared Caleb understood why Danny felt betrayed at having to hear the news from Luisa. The boy ducked his head.

"You never get a break," he muttered, cheeks reddening with the adolescent embarrassment of admitting you still cared, despite the crappy hand life continued to deal you. "I didn't want you to have to come home early just 'cause of me. I thought if I went home I could let myself in and you wouldn't need to know about..._everything_ until you got home."

Danny felt himself sigh. As the parent, he was supposed to lecture Caleb, list the reasons why running away was dangerous and cowardly. But how could he, when the kid had had a worse two days than even he had?

Putting a hand on each of Caleb's shoulders, Danny tried to ignore the slight flinch on Caleb's part. "Hey, I don't care _where _I am at what _time_, you need me- _ever_- you call me, no questions asked. Understood?"

Caleb muttered something that might have been a yes, so Danny sighed again and stopped himself short of just wrapping his broken son in his arms. "Caleb," Danny said softly, "let's go home."

* * *

Danny liked to pride himself as the sort of parent who did not need to buy their kids love. However, he was still the parent of an angsty teenage boy, and that meant that sometimes, just sometimes, Caleb's favorite fast food and a host of rented action movies were necessary, a natural part of their routine when things in his son's life did not go to plan.

Caleb was not the kind of kid- and what teenage boy _was_? - who would come to Danny while he was cooking dinner and confide in him about his feelings. He was quiet, reserved, more likely to hold himself up in his room for hours at a time, silent and doing God-knows what online, like every other teen in the country who had ever been hurt.

It was much safer and healthier, in Danny's opinion, for them to spend time together on their couch, watching movies that awed Caleb's mind and eating junk food.

Three hours, two bowls of popcorn and a million special effects later, Caleb reached for the remote control and paused the DVD, mid-explosion.

"You okay?" Danny asked, knowing full well this was what he had been waiting for. He knew Caleb better than he knew anyone, and cracking his mind was a task he had an incredible amount of experience with.

"He was there," Caleb said, looking up at Danny. It was dark in the room, but Danny could tell by the hitch in Caleb's voice that the boy was close to tears. "She promised me she was finished with him; that she didn't want another guy who'd treat her like that...but he was there."

Ten years ago, Danny- struggling his way through a divorce he hadn't seen coming whilst still trying (and failing) desperately to convince his superiors that Martin was out there, somewhere, desperate to be found- had worked a missing person case that involved the buying and selling of women and children for purposes of human trafficking. A fifteen year old girl had been manipulated and used, sold to some sick old pervert abroad, but upon finding her, she had asked only if the little boy who had traveled with her was alive. Further investigation into the man in custody, responsible for the 'business transaction' revealed his girlfriend had a young son she had- _coincidentally_?- failed to mention was also missing. By the time Danny and Jack found him, locked in a cage in an underground layer with four other older children and a pregnant woman, Caleb had gone days without proper water or food. At three and a half years old, the only word he had learned to say was, "_Stop_."

Lacey, his mother, had cried when they'd explained her boyfriend had planned to sell her son. She somehow slipped away with only a minor felony of neglect, promised the judge she would change, and then proceeded to sign her legal rights for Caleb over to the state. Thirteen months later, Danny had brought a healthier, happier Caleb home to live with him; painted his spare bedroom with animal stencils, bought so many toys the child struggled to decide which to play with at any given time. He showered the little boy with love and hugs and all the other things absent in his life until then. In return, Caleb lodged himself firmly in Danny's heart, the place where the hurt Martin had left behind once lived, making it impossible for Danny to dwell on what he had lost.

It was five years before Lacey had requested contact with Caleb again, and although Danny could tell just by looking at her- much too skinny, dark bruises on her arms, wild eyes that surrendered and cried at the drop of a hat- that she had not changed, he remembered how he had felt as a kid when social services had stopped him seeing Rafi. So he gave into Caleb's pleas and allowed her visitation rights, living with the ever-present pain of knowing that his son would undoubtedly be hurt by this woman and that there was nothing he could do about it. His reflex was to pull Caleb away from her each time he saw them together; cancel the weekend time she did not deserve; pull Caleb into his arms and protect him from her and whatever toxic man she was welcoming into their life this month.

But he couldn't. Because he had been in Caleb's position, which meant he knew exactly what he needed. The only way Caleb could see his mother for what she really was, the only way he could do so without resenting Danny, would be if Danny stood back and let him figure it out for himself.

He knew he had done the right thing, but that didn't necessarily make it any easier to handle.

"You don't have to see her anymore," Danny said, aware it was not technically Caleb's decision now Lacey had told Luisa she was finished with 'trying.' "She can't hurt you if you don't let her."

But was that really the truth? Or was that just what Danny hoped? Because absence did not ease the hurt of being left behind, and he knew that better than Caleb did.

Caleb sniffed. "I don't need her anyway. I've got you."

"Damn straight," Danny smiled, punching Caleb's shoulder lightly. "I promise you, some day she's going to wake up and realize that she's screwed up...and she'll have to live with that. But you've done everything you could to make things work, and I couldn't be more proud of you."

There was silence then, Caleb's frown changing to a small smile and Danny attempting to pull the boy into a hug without being met with teenage disdain.

"You still haven't told me what Nashville was like," Caleb said, after pulling away, shifting on the couch.

Laughing, Danny took a handful of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. "Don't ask," he mumbled around the popcorn.

"Did you find the guy you're looking for?"

Wasn't _that _the million dollar question? Danny just shrugged. "There have been some...developments."

Caleb turned to him, right eyebrow raised in question. "Are you going to tell me?"

Danny had been on three dates since Elena- two women, one man- casual set-ups by Samantha for the most part. A night out, a meal after work, but nothing more. Not one had ever been important enough, had ever touched Danny's heart enough, to be anything more than a quick kiss in the moonlight. They had certainly never earned enough of his trust to be introduced to Caleb- although he was quite aware his father dated occasionally. Danny _wanted _to tell him about Martin, but right now, there was nothing to tell. He wasn't even entirely sure he would ever see Martin again, although he was trying to convince himself there was no chance he wouldn't.

"I'll get back to you on that," Danny said. Then, to ease the blow of secrets not shared, he handed Caleb the bowl of popcorn.

Caleb shrugged, "Whatever," and un-paused the DVD, as Danny tried to rid images of the stranger, Teddy Conrad, from his mind.

* * *

After leaving Caleb at the bus stop on Monday morning, Danny headed out to the private hospital in The Hamptons, knowing full well he'd be late for work and Jack would not even consider reprimanding him for it.

Victor's hospital room was empty when he arrived, but he hadn't expected any different. Martha, Martin's mother, was being looked after by maids and extended family members in the Fitzgerald home- they all knew she was not fit to see her husband's health deteriorate any further.

There had been no change since Danny had left for Nashville, the Doctor's assured him, but then cancer was known to work slowly. Victor seemed paler nonetheless, and he was obviously in pain despite the tubes and wires entering his body supposed to bring numbness from medication.

"How are you feeling?" Danny asked gently, touching the older man's hand in a greeting.

Victor's eyelids, too heavy for his weak muscles, bobbed open. "I've seen better days." He licked his lips, and Danny knew he was mustering the strength to ask about Martin.

"He's doing fine," Danny said, not waiting for the question, knowing Victor could not afford to waste energy. He sat down on the soft chair beside the bed.

"Will he see his mother?" Victor's voice was so feeble, so frail and fragile. He was breaking apart, more and more, every time Danny saw him, and in turn, it was breaking Danny apart.

Tears pricked in Danny's eyes. He had never witnessed somebody die of such a torturous disease before. "He'll come," Danny managed to say, voice barely more than a whisper yet the room so quiet and empty it echoed. "I know he will."

Victor's lips curled in what once would have been a tiny smile. "Thank you, Danny." He lifted up his arm, eyes closed again, touched his hand to Danny's hair. "You're a good boy."

Danny bit his lip so he wouldn't sob. Shaking, he took Victor's hand in his own. "What can I do?" He asked, wiping his eyes hastily with his other sleeve. "Tell me what you need and I'll do it." The effort of simply breathing, of holding on for the family he loved, was agonizing to the dying man. He winced between breaths, before Danny pulled the oxygen mask gently up over his mouth. He had fallen back asleep before he could even give Danny an order to fulfill.

So Danny busied himself pretending he had been told what Victor wanted from him. He pulled the sheet further up his chest, like he used to tuck Caleb into bed when he was little; he closed the window, aware a simple cold could take days from them Victor did not have left; he picked up the fine tooth comb Martha had left behind and gently eased it through the thin, brittle grey hair on Victor's head that had just begun to grow back after the last bout of Chemotherapy.

He had been visiting Victor regularly in hospital for over a year now, had become a semi-permanent fixture in this very room for months. He had kept Victor company through treatment, had filled him in on work and life outside of the Oncology ward; he had reassured Victor countless times that if he died before Martin could get here, he would take care of Martha himself; he had witnessed their marriage fall apart, watched as Victor grew too exhausted to spare patience for Martha's constant confusion; had dried the tears and tried his best to pick up the pieces when she had been diagnosed with her own illness, one which meant on more than one occasion she had not been able to recognize Victor as her husband. He had been there for the worst nights, when Victor was so weak he was unable to shave himself, when the proudest man Danny had ever known was replaced with a vulnerable and dependent patient who needed soup spoon-fed to him by Danny.

Danny had learned, over these horrible months, what Victor needed and when. But now, with weeks, maybe only _days_ left to live, Danny knew there was just one thing he really needed-but it was something he couldn't give him: the type of forgiveness, _closure_, only a prodigal son could give his regretful father.

* * *

**I'm undecided right now, so if you have a preference about whose POV the next chapter should be from, please don't hesitate to let me know!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Technically it's still Friday where I am so I did keep my promise! Martin POV, it's italicized because it's basically an entire flashback but more...retrospective? Idk, I'm keeping to italics for chapters like this when there is just background etc. so yes, enjoy and let me know what you think! **

* * *

_Henry Conrad was fairly popular in the state of Nashville, it seemed. He had won elections previously, but since his wife left him for another man four years ago, he had fallen deep into the bottle. Every other month, he would claw his way out, but then a song that reminded him of her would come on the radio, or he'd see somebody at the store who had eyes the same crystal blue as hers, and- almost as quickly as she'd broken his heart- he'd fall right back into it again._

_Still, that did not mean that walking the streets with him equaled anything less than a social parade. People stopped to congratulate Henry for God-knows what political venture and when he introduced Martin as his son, Teddy, Martin flinched, feeling the sting of a slap in place of a welcome._

_In those first few weeks, Martin was caught between anger at his father for leaving him there and disappointment Danny had not arrived to whisk him back home again. His father saw Nashville as a second chance, in Martin's eyes it was a cry for help...one which was being steadily ignored by those who had once claimed to love him._

_He dreamt of the kidnapping, the ordeal, almost every night, but, unlike the dreams that had plagued him in his own bedroom, it was Danny who was being hurt- not him. Was is some weird sign? Did it mean Danny was really in danger back in New York? Was it Martin's mind telling him to call Danny?_

_But then, almost in a blur, the weeks turned to months- a haze of adjustment and isolation; before long it was Christmas, and Henry was encouraging him to attend a party his new office was throwing._

_The job in business was nothing incredibly riveting or challenging, but it was a calm change of pace from finding missing people. In his new job, the worst that could come from him messing up was a contract needing re-printed. Nobody ever died if he made the wrong call; his team didn't suffer because he lost momentary focus; the closest he'd been to being held against his will was when the elevator had gotten stuck on the second floor for fifteen minutes._

_Still, it was a job, and it was a distraction, and right now that was the best he could hope for._

_He hadn't wanted to attend the party- he barely knew his co-workers, was steadily doing his best to stay out of everybody's way...but Henry was adamant._

_"It'll be good for you," he promised. "Take your mind off things."_

_What things, he didn't say, but it was enough to diminish what little hope Martin had been building up as a result of this new life. Regardless of how hard he felt he was trying, he was still falling short of expectations; he was still struggling to fit into this life that did not belong to him._

_The first half of the party was a misery and a grace all at once- his colleagues barely took notice of him, chatting and giggling amongst themselves, leaving him to sit alone and his desk and dwell. Before he could stop himself, he was wondering about Danny Taylor. How was he spending this Christmas Eve? In Elena's arms? Tucking Sofie into bed; leaving cookies for Santa? Was he thriving in the beautiful family Martin had once been stupid enough to believe he might be able to have with him?_

_He thought about his parents too. Were they attending mass together, their usual Christmas Eve tradition? Did they field questions from other parishioners who noticed Martin's absence? Or were they sitting in their living room with their snobby friends, toasting to a future without him to shame their family name?_

_"Teddy!" Henry's voice was curt, with gentle and concerned undertones. Martin spun around in his chair, still somewhat unaccustomed to being called by this name that was not- and would never be, in his mind- his._

_Henry was engaged in conversation with a man of similar age who was laughing heartily. "Come over here!" Henry encouraged, and- not for the first time either- he wanted to crawl under his new desk and pretend he didn't exist at all._

_But Martin did as instructed, held out his hand to shake that of a man introduced as Lamar Jaymes, a congressman or something who Martin pretended to have heard of but had not. "Your father tells me you have a bright future in business ahead of you," Lamar said, and Martin's irrational mind felt a flicker of hope at that statement before he realised the father the man was referring to was Henry, the one who was only pretending to care as a favor to the one who didn't anymore._

_Didn't say anything, because there was no correct answer really. Instead, he just blushed as Lamar eyed him up and down, feeling like a calf being chosen for slaughter._

_With a smile, the man asked, "Have you met my youngest daughter?"_

_Three hours later, Martin was dancing on the office rooftop with Rayna in his arms. Her eyes were sharp blue, rather than the soft chocolate of Danny's. When she spoke, her voice was sweet and passionate, instead of the rough intensity with which Danny had said his name. She looked at him as though she was disappointed he wasn't somebody else, somebody better; and somehow that was alright, because he looked at her exactly the same way._

_The music from downstairs was playing, some repetitive country song Rayna hummed along to as though she herself had written it, but that he had never heard before. "I'm really glad I came tonight," she whispered in his ear, voice hitching with the strain of the lie they could both hear loud and clear, but he could not bring himself to return the artificial sentiments, and so he simply held her a little closer as they danced completely out of sync with the fading music._

_When the night was over, she kissed him on the cheek, promising she'd call. "Teddy," she said as she entered his number into her cell phone. "Right?"_

_And that was it, his perfect opportunity to correct her. The moment his life could have turned out so differently, had he allowed it, had he been brave enough. The moment that separated him: from the wreck he once was to the man he became._

_"Teddy," he confirmed, and when she called an hour later, asking if he wanted to go for a midnight coffee, a Christmas offering between two new friends, he accepted._

* * *

_Coming to terms with his new identity came with losing a number of things: as the days went by, and he filled his mind with thoughts of work, of Rayna and their plans, he forfeited details from his old life. The moment came when he was no longer able to recall, from memory, the digits of Danny's cell phone number; yet he knew what Rayna's favorite dish was, and just how to prepare it. He traded knowledge the FBI had instilled in him- elaborate gun safety and rules and what-not-to-do-in-a-shootout- for the correct way his boss liked contracts alphabetized, for the procedures involved when an investor made a complaint._

_In creating new memories, he lost his old ones._

_In some ways, it felt like a relief. He didn't have to balance two minds at once; he was Teddy Conrad, and that was all anybody here expected of him._

_And it wasn't all loss. He gained plenty too._

_He woke up with a woman for the first time in years. A woman who was beautiful by any account, a woman who made him laugh, a woman who needed saving as much as he did and whose past pursuits set him apart, on a pedestal almost._

_But Rayna was not the only relationship Teddy Conrad was building. Henry, the man who had taken him in, was treating him as though he really were his own son, just as he had from day one, even when he had been too angry to see it. Henry, who, unlike Victor Fitzgerald, would call to ask him how his day went just because he cared; who would offer him advice on dealing with colleagues, instead of threatening to have them fired, and when Teddy decided to leave the firm for a all-round better job at a more prestigious one, whose first concern was not of the way it would look to others, but if Teddy would be truly happy._

_He had never heard the words, 'You can do whatever you want to do,' before coming to Nashville, and they were the magic he needed to take control of his life- the freedom needed to compel him to action._

_He got his own apartment and worked his way up the corporate ladder, and when he married Rayna Jaymes in a simple service mid-July, Henry was his best man. It wasn't until Maddie was born that Teddy came to properly see Henry as a father._

_He stood, in the hospital nursery, rocking the tiny bundle wrapped in pink in his arms while Rayna slept down the hall, when Henry entered and smiled. "I'm proud of you," he said, words foreign to the receiving ears, and when Teddy started to cry, he allowed Henry to believe it was simply because he was so overcome with love for Maddie._

_Being a father had come naturally to him, something which shocked him to no end. He could remember seeing Danny spin Sofie around in his arms and thinking he would never be able to conjure that desire for a child, yet here he was, in Nashville, a beautiful wife and a beautiful baby girl he would die for; an infant his world revolved around, who made him love Rayna because she had given him this perfect family he did not deserve. On the day they discovered the paternity results, Teddy set aside any childish insecurities that had plagued him throughout the pregnancy: he vowed to his daughter that what they lacked in blood he would make up for with love._

_It was Henry's influence, he figured, the support of a father he would never have had if he'd been in New York. A role model, an example of what a parent really did and said and gave._

_Henry doted on his granddaughters and continued to support Teddy right up until he was diagnosed with liver disease, a result of the alcohol he had not touched since the day he had become a grandfather. It was Teddy's turn to be strong for him then, but by then he'd only just learned what that really meant and required. He did his absolute best by the man; the best doctors money could buy, surgery that was not covered by insurance, moved Henry into their home in an attempt to aid his recovery- so selfish when really, it was Teddy himself who was desperate for more time._

_It was during these horrible months of watching his surrogate father die that Teddy began to screw up at work. The Cumberland deal was simply one disaster after another, a string of mistakes on his part as he juggled a family, blinding grief, and a job he had gotten simply due to a fake resume provided by the FBI._

_On his deathbed, Henry had kissed Teddy's forehead and told him he loved him, that he was proud to call him his son. They had held hands as he had departed from this world, Teddy drowning in his own tears as the machine flat-lined, the kind nurse he had hired patting his shoulder and assuring him he would be alright._

_In Danny's mind, he was helping Teddy by showing up unannounced to offer news of Victor's impending death, but he was simply dredging up memories of the father Victor had never been, the son it was much too late for the man they called Martin to become, the damage grief had done on his life last time it had had a place there._

_Danny Taylor would never understand that- in Teddy's eyes at least-he'd already buried his father._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I had this written yesterday but only got to upload it tonight, I'm sorry! Also I'll try and have two chapters next weekend to make up for the week I missed. **

**Danny's POV because I had some things I wanted to explore, but next chapter will definitely be Teddy's POV. I hope you like it and don't think I went incredibly off-topic with the sideplot. **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to read.**

* * *

Danny was struggling to resist the urge to call.

It was surprising he even found the time to think about Martin, really, considering he barely managed to squeeze in lunch around a hectic work schedule, single parenting a teenager who was trying his damnest to piss off just about every professional in his middle school and daily trips to the all-too-quiet hospital room two hours out of town.

Still, whether it was during those moments when he caught himself staring into space at his desk or alone in the car after dropping Caleb at the bus stop, Danny managed to slot in thoughts of his ex-best friend.

Each morning when he awoke he checked the local airports flight times from Nashville to New York; wanting to be prepared should Martin be on one of them. Of course, the days past and he did not show up at the office-where he surely knew Danny still worked- his parents' house, the address Danny had given him- and he knew because he called every night to check in with the relatives, who he knew only by name and association, to see how Martha was- or the private hospital where Victor was dying by degrees.

He had long since given up on convincing himself he only wanted Martin to return for Victor and Martha's sake. It was a lie, and one which had been patchy at best, even to begin with. Not half as begrudgingly as he'd expected, he was able to admit he wanted to be near Martin again; he wanted to have it out with him, he wanted to be able to forgive and forget; Danny wanted to show him that he had never stopped looking, searching- that he had never given up.

And even now, when he'd had multiple chances and ten years and a glimpse into the life Martin was so capable of living without him, he was still holding on.

"Danny? _Hello_?" a petulant voice demanded, waving a hand in front of his face.

Danny blinked, the voice of his son drawing him from his tangled thoughts that were steadily revolving around the man who had taught him how to love, how to hurt.

He was standing at the cooker in his kitchen, the chicken he had been grilling- the first meal he had devoted time to make so far this week- was charcoaled black by this point, smoke was beginning to rise and Caleb was at his side, turning down knobs and dials and making room to breathe with a dishcloth.

"Fuck," Danny muttered, stepping back for a split second before moving to action, taking the pan off the grill and covering his coughs with his arm.

Living in an apartment had its disadvantages- the highly over-sensitive smoke detector was one of them. That insistent beeping was ringing in his ears and a red light on the ceiling was flashing and it would probably be moments before water began to rain from the sprinklers above their heads.

He sighed, exasperated. Caleb stood in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest. With an expression that read: this _it why you haven't cooked all week_, he quirked an eyebrow. "Chinese?" he challenged.

Willing his mind to un-see the piercing blue eyes that he should really have forgotten by now, Danny nodded. "It doesn't look like we have a choice," he said, except he knew that even when you thought you didn't, you _always _had a choice.

* * *

Sofie had been in Europe for the past three weeks, a trip with her girlfriends to celebrate surviving three years of college, a first special dive into adult freedom. When Danny picked her up from the airport on Sunday afternoon, she ran into his arms like she was twelve years old again, instead of twenty-two.

"Daddy," she said, like she had not spoken to him the entire time she'd been away, when in fact they had exchanged texts every night and phone calls every other day. "I missed you."

She waved goodbye to her friends and walked out of the airport with her arm linked through his own. "Where's Caleb?" she asked when they got to the car.

"He's at his friend's house. He thinks your flight isn't home until tomorrow- I thought it would be a welcome surprise for him later." Danny placed Sofie's suitcase in the boot of the car, shifting it onto its side to make room for her oversized hand luggage. "How the hell did you get through security with that? Isn't there a weight restriction?"

"Don't change the subject," she chided. "What's wrong with Caleb?"

Danny slammed the boot shut and climbed into the driving seat, not wishing to have this conversation in the middle of the airport car park. "Things have been tough while you were gone."

"Lacey?" Sofie asked, moving into the passenger seat and clipping both of their seat belts in place while he started the engine.

Danny sighed. "Naturally."

"He'll be alright. He has you." She stared out the window, hard, like she was concentrating on something he could not see. "You are twice the parent that woman could ever be."

"Is everything okay with you?" Danny prompted, noticing she folded her hands together in her lap after switching her phone off completely.

Almost like she had been waiting for him to ask, Sofie deflated. "It's Mama."

"What's wrong with her?" Danny asked, part-frantic, part-rational. It wasn't that he still loved Elena- no way, no how- but he did still care about her as the mother of his daughter and the thought of issues with her adding to his list of 'things to deal with' filled him with dread. There already wasn't quite enough of him to go around.

"Nothing," Sofie said quickly. "I mean, nothing's _wrong_ with her. It's...well, Juan's company offered him a job en España. He wants to take it and Mama...wants to go with him and…"

She stopped short, like the next part was important to Danny, more so than his estranged ex moving continents with her new husband. "...And they want me to go as well."

If he hadn't been driving, Danny was not sure just how he would have handled that final sentence. "Spain?"

Sofie had spent three days in Spain when traveling with her friends.

"Mama and Juan flew over to show me their new house while I was there," she explained, but that did not make Danny feel any better.

"How long has this been planned exactly?"

He was being petty, childish. For God's sake, Sofie was a grown woman now, not a child. If she wanted to go to Spain with her mother then she could, and he was in no position to stop her.

Not that he ever had been, of course- a mother would forever outrank a father in America's custody courts; Elena had biology, common blood, a birth certificate that linked her to their daughter, none of which Danny had. Elena could have taken her, anywhere, at any time, in the last thirteen years- except she didn't.

Of course this had been his initial fear when they were divorcing, especially in his sleep-deprived, delusioned yet optimistic Martin-would-never-leave-me-behind-either state of mind.

"I will never take her from you," Elena had said, a promise that at the time meant very little, considering the last one she had made and been unable to keep-"I will always love you."

Logically, he knew Elena was not doing this to hurt him: he had planned to keep a good relationship with his ex for the sake of their daughter, but that was difficult when they realised they had never really had much of a relationship in the first place.

They had spoken on the phone perhaps a handful of times a year; taken it in turns to attend PTA meetings to avoid the awkward silence that would eat them both alive if they were both to go. Elena returned to White Collar, Danny had never had to work with her, a fact he was grateful for. In the last few years, as Sofie moved into campus accommodation, their only contact had dwindled to an email or two to warn the other of what birthday or Christmas gift they intended to buy her, so they wouldn't clash.

At the present moment, Danny could not even remember the last time he had heard Elena's voice.

Still, just because their relationship was non-existent did not mean that teasing Sofie away had been intentional. He had obviously not factored into the decision at all, or else he would have heard from Elena and Juan.

Knowing Elena had not set out to tear his world apart did not help in the grand scheme of Danny's heart, though. Instead, the thought of losing Sofie when he had only just gotten her back after almost a month apart made tears swim in his eyes. He had to pull over, certain he could not continue to have this conversation, drive at the same time and _not _risk their lives.

"She's been talking about it for months. I-I told her I would tell you, but I-I..._couldn't_," Sofie blurted out, reaching for his hand, seeming surprised when he didn't pull away. "I didn't know how to."

He thought his children knew they could tell him anything, but he was wrong. Caleb, who had called Luisa instead of Danny because he didn't want to be a bother; now Sofie, who had been keeping this secret for months afraid of how he might react.

Maybe it wasn't just his children. What about Martin, who had ran from everything and everyone, who was still running, all because talking it out with Danny hadn't seemed like an option? Elena, who found it easier to go along with a wedding she did not want, a marriage she knew would never last, than to tell him the truth.

"You should have told me. I'm not a monster, Sofie. I wouldn't have freaked out."

Sofie raised an eyebrow. "Like you are now, you mean?"

He bit his lip. "I'm not freaking out. It's just- Jesus, this is a shock."

Sofie shook her head and looked out the windscreen. "I don't know what to do."

Except she did, of course, and Danny knew it. Spain was exotic, different, exciting. It held potential and promises. She had just finished college with a degree to be proud of; she had no ties here other than him and Caleb.

She would make new friends, get a job she loved, have the experience of a lifetime. Weren't these all of the things he wanted for his daughter?

Naturally, they were. He just wanted them in the same country, where she was a forty-minute drive away, where she still spent weekends in his apartment playing video games with her brother, where he could bear witness to her new life evolving.

"We can Skype all the time," someone said, and it took Danny by surprise that it was _him. _"You'll see more of me there than you do here." He let out a laugh, awkward and forced and too heavy.

Sofie shifted in her seat. "Daddy-"

He lifted his hand up, silencing her. "I want you to be happy," he said, faking his best smile, the same one he had used when he was in Martin's fancy new kitchen, watching the man he loved defend his new 'home' with the least-welcoming agitation.

He had managed to blink away most of the tears by now, he kissed her on the top of the head and squeezed her hand. He started the engine again, was just about to pull back onto the road when his cell phone buzzed from its place in his coat pocket.

He dug it out, heart dropping like a pebble in water when he read the caller ID: Southampton Hospital.

"Hello?" He sounded panicked, could tell by the way Sofie looked at him as he answered.

"Mr Taylor?" the voice on the other end of the phone was familiar, the kind nurse who worked the evening shift and always brought magazines by for Danny to flick through while Victor slept. Her name was Marina. "Um, I think you need to come down here, if at all possible."

He wasn't sure what the protocol was in situations like this- was it simply that she couldn't break news of Victor's death over the phone?

"Is it...is he...?" Danny's mind was racing with a thousand thoughts: _not now, not yet, not on his own. _

"Mr Taylor I really think it's better if you come down here right away."

He couldn't bring himself to reply, so he ended the call and finally pulled off of the shoulder.

* * *

"Well?" Sofie pressed, unbuckling her seat belt, and then Danny's, when he didn't move. "Aren't we going to go in?"

"They should have called me," Danny murmured, too many things he needed to say-incoherent thoughts he couldn't structure. "Why didn't they _call _me?"

Sofie looked down at the floor of the car. "This is Uncle Martin's dad, right?"

Danny nodded, but he still couldn't speak. He had not told her he had found Martin, or that he had gone to Nashville. He could lie to Caleb, but Sofie was much more intuitive.

"I can't believe he's been gone for so long," she said quietly.

She had been aware of her father's searching; how he did not rest the case even when the team did; how some nights he still woke up in a cold sweat, certain he had heard Martin call out his name and that it must be some sort of sign that he was still out there, still needing to be found (and by Danny, of course.)

Now, Danny found himself turning to her, desperate to hear the memories she had- the innocent ones he would once have treasured, those that had not been tainted by betrayal and regret. "What do you remember about him?"

She was seven when he disappeared, almost eight. Young enough to not understand why Uncle Martin wouldn't come by on Sunday's anymore to eat dinner with them, but old enough to remember that in the months prior to leaving he hadn't been doing that so much anyway; old enough to notice the space his lack of presence had left in her life, in the life of her father.

Danny wondered if she too ever passed someone in the street, a man with bright blue eyes and dirt-brown hair of the same height and build as Martin and turned, hope burning her insides to ash, only to notice that the stranger in fact had a facial piercing, that his nose was too small, that his ears stuck out too much.

"Not a lot," Sofie admitted, looking at him apologetically, like she wished she could understand why the tone of Martin's laughter was ever-playing in his mind, why the lines on the inside of Martin's palm was a design Danny could still trace to this day. "I remember that he made me laugh. I remember that he used to come to my ballet recitals. I remember that he used to sneak me ice cream after dinner when you and Mama said I couldn't have any more." The small smile brought to her face by reminiscence disappeared, changed to a frown of disappointment, of hurt too perhaps. "I remember that you used to look at him the way I wanted you to look at Mama."

The hair on Danny's arms stood up on ends, her soft words scraping at his heart like a scalpel, sending tremors through his body. He thought he had hidden his feelings so well- as it turned out, his then eight-year old daughter had figured them out. "How was that?"

"As though you were always waiting," Sofie said, looking up at him sadly. "I guess you were."

And where had it gotten him? He'd waited fourteen years, he'd _wasted _fourteen years- running police checks on potential suspects and re-watching security footage and checking bank accounts for any sign of life. He'd cried his tears, had days when he convinced himself something awful must have happened to the man he loved so desperately, because surely nothing of his own will could ever convince Martin to leave him.

Until the day Victor had told him, months ago now, that he in fact knew exactly where Martin was (and had, all these years.) Danny hadn't believed him- hadn't _wanted _to believe him- and right up until Martin Fitzgerald was telling him that he had changed, all but throwing Danny out of his new life, he still hadn't. He was so sure Martin must be under some obligation, some force; he was so sure Martin still needed Danny to swoop in and save him.

"Dad? What do you think _happened _to Uncle Martin?"

After wiping the bitter tears from his eyes before his daughter could see them, Danny opened the car door.

"He's dead," he said, and maybe, Danny thought, the man he had known and loved really _was; _maybe this was far from the biggest lie Danny had told all day.

* * *

"Wait here," he instructed Sofie, leaving her sitting in the waiting room in the palliative care section of the hospital. An elderly woman sat beside her, coughing hysterically like perhaps she was the next in line for a bed.

Strangely, Sofie did not argue with him making her stay behind. She nodded and gave his hand a quick squeeze before releasing him, before he was forced to go through the double doors leading to the private ward Victor had been on.

Before he could reach the room he fully expected to now be empty- and he was crying again just at the thought, except without Sofie by his side and therefore no reason to pretend this didn't feel like torture- he spotted Victor's oncologist.

"Why didn't you call me?" Danny demanded, his voice echoing the silent corridor, a heartfelt howl. "I told you to call me!"

Dr Bethel looked frustrated too. "Danny, you need to calm down. I _did _call you. But this isn't what you think."

He was listening now, because if this was not what he thought then that meant Victor was still alive, that it was not too late, that he had not let the man who had relied on him like a child these last few months down completely. "Is he...?" Danny's throat was dry.

Betel nodded. "He's alive."

"What is it, then?" Slightly less frantic, but shock was now crippling his throat rather than sorrow. "An infection?"

"No," Dr Betel said, shaking his head. He took two steps ahead to the window by Victor's hospital room; the one Danny did not want to look into, for fear of what he would see. Yet, the oncologist waved Danny forward.

At first, he didn't notice anything off. He took in the image of Victor, eyes shut, in his hospital bed- the same shade of white he had been last night when Danny visited; the lilies by his bed that Martha had sent three days ago when she'd be urged to remember who he was-one of her better days; the heart-monitor making the same faint rise and falls that it usually did- once a worry, now a relief. Danny almost looked back at the Doctor to question just what was supposed to shock him, but as he turned his head to do so he spotted it.

The man in a long brown coat, probably a designer brand Danny could not pronounce, standing by the end of the bed.

Were his hands shaking, or was Danny's vision? He couldn't tell, and this ghost had just been accepted as dead moments ago, yet here he was- the irony of Danny thinking he was coming here to lay to rest his relationship with both Fitzgeralds, but in actuality burying neither one.

Martin looked up and met Danny's eye, like there was not hurt as deep and wide as the ocean between them.

"It's not an infection," Dr Betel pointed out, in case Danny had still had any doubt. "It's his son."


	9. Chapter 9

**As promised, two chapters! Technically it was one big one but then I realised was over 4000 words and decided it needed cut in half. Both are Teddy's POV, again, he's a bit of a jerk, but thing's get rough for him in the next few chapters so try not to judge him too harshly. Thank you as always for reading and reviewing, and I'm sorry if I don't always upload on time! **

* * *

It had started innocently enough.

One minute he was dropping the girls off at Rayna's- she was now home and demanding her time with their daughters, something he accepted he had no control over yet was still slightly begrudging of, knowing she would never have given into a request he made quite so easily- and the next he was heading toward the airport, calling his secretary and telling her he would be out of town for a few days, asking her to rearrange his scheduled meetings.

It didn't necessarily make him feel good to put such a short time limit on Victor's life, but if the story Danny portrayed was anything to go by, it was certainly not an unreasonable one.

He got as far as the check-in desk, freshly printed plane ticket in hand, when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Stepping aside to allow the next passenger to take his place, he answered, forgetting to take a glance at the caller ID.

"I called your office," the familiar voice informed him. "Why didn't you tell me you were going out of town?"

It was Rayna. He stifled a sigh. "It wasn't planned. An..._emergency_ cropped up. What did you want at my office anyway?"

"Daphne left her hockey kit at your place," she explained. "She has practice tomorrow, remember?"

Of course he remembered, he was the one who usually left the office early to pick her up. Still, pointing this out to Rayna would be futile. "Maddie knows where I keep the spare key. It's probably in the dryer."

He'd put on a spin before he left, not thinking to check if the clothes the girls had given him to wash and dry were ones they would need for their mother's this week. His mind was preoccupied, on other things, but telling Rayna that did not seem feasible.

"Where are you going anyway?"

He was not obliged to tell her, of course- God knew she had a history herself for being less than honest with him. Regardless, he did want to maintain a relationship of some sort with her, and hanging up after telling her it was absolutely none of her business-which it _wasn't_- was certainly not indicative of successful co-parenting.

"New York." Before she could ask- and she would ask, he heard it her sharp intake of breath when he said those two words- he answered, "My-my real father's dying."

He had told her, not so long ago now, the truth about his past. The night in question, he had been working up the courage to tell her about the Cumberland deal, but at the very last minute chickened out- switched instead to the tale of the life he'd ran away from. He included only the basics of course, leaving out the why's, the who's, the how's. By the time he had finished with the much-edited version of his story she was shaking her head, disbelieving, begging him to tell her that their life together was not the lie she thought it was.

No words could ease her pain, though, and that night, she left Teddy for the first time. She took the girls from school and brought them to Tandy's, where they stayed for three whole days before she finally relented and answered his calls.

"Are you a murderer?" She asked over a lunch he was surprised she agreed to have with him, and for the first time in years he had thought of the last person who had loved him; how Danny Taylor would know him well enough to know this possibility was ridiculous.

He explained he _wasn't_, that their family was in no danger, that he could return to his old life now those he was running from where safely imprisoned or dead- but that he chose not to because his old life was not a patch on the one he had created with her and their daughters.

Rayna believed him, or at least she pretended to, and that night she moved back home with Maddie and Daphne.

She didn't ask again and he didn't tell. Perhaps that was the beginning of the end, the precise point things began to deteriorate, the tremor before the earthquake. He couldn't be entirely sure-but he did know that things had not been the same between them since.

"Teddy-" Rayna's voice, softer than she had spoken to him in months, startled him from his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

How would she? He hadn't told her; they were far from casual chatting terms; he barely knew the details himself. Just as he was not obliged to tell her where he was going, she was not obliged to care.

But he found himself relieved she still did.

"I-I'm okay," Teddy said, in case she was wondering, despite the fact it was a lie of the most blatant type. "It's just a shock."

"I'll bet," Rayna replied. "Listen, take your time, okay? I can keep the girls an extra week if I need to-"

"-no!" Too quick, too determined, but he wasn't going to let his old life interfere with his new one any more than it already had, was not about to miss out on precious time with his girls for the sake of someone he had never really known. "I'll be back for Saturday."

Rayna began to talk again, assuring him it was no trouble, that the girls would understand- although how she thought she should explain it to them he had no idea.

"Look, I'll be back for them, okay?" He was cutting her off, but he had a flight to catch and this conversation was only adding to the anxiety building inside his chest.

A sigh; a resignation. "Whatever you think. But listen, don't say or do anything you'll regret-"

He'd gotten all of this from Danny already and would no doubt be subjected to it yet again when he later landed in New York, the last thing he wanted was a lecture in regrets from his ex-wife.

"-I gotta go," Teddy interrupted. "I'll see you Saturday," and before she could argue, he ended the call.

* * *

The airport had changed since the last time he had been there.

The floors from the terminal had once been discoloured carpet; now they were shiny white tiles that squeaked when walked on. He was sure the walls had been re-painted too, hardly surprising considering how much time had passed, but disorientating all the same.

There were escalators where Information desks used to be, an outside smoking area where a small bar had been located, 40 gates in terminal B when Teddy was sure there had never been more than 20 when he had been flying domestically to and from LaGuardia frequently.

This was all he could think, or all he was trying to focus on, before realising he had gotten on the plane with nothing but the clothes on his back, the phone and wallet in his pocket. No cell charger; no spare shirts, no razor or shaving foam. If he was here until Saturday, he was going to need to invest in some necessities.

Danny hadn't told him the name of the hospital, but when he finally received the keys to his hired car, he realised he knew exactly where he was going.

The closest hospital to the address Danny had given him was a two hour drive, but Teddy was glad of the distance- a final procrastination. He drove in autopilot, taking turns and stopping at lights almost automatically, as though it had been days since he'd been on these streets, rather than years.

He was careful not to look around, afraid of what, of who, he might see as he passed, focusing on the route ahead of him instead of the life around him or the challenges awaiting.

Finding a parking space was easy, getting out and making his way inside was another thing entirely. What if somebody saw him; recognised him? What if he ran into Jack, or Danny, or his mother? What if he was too late?

What if he _wasn't_?

Teddy was always the kind of person who had a plan. He'd had to be, these last few years especially, but being back in this state seemed to diminish this particular character trait. It was almost as if he had reverted back to being clueless Martin Fitzgerald, just by spending a few hours stuck in New York traffic.

The thought crippled him with fear- being that person again was out of the question, for a million reasons that started with Danny's mysterious caller in the coffee shop and ended with the fact he had a family waiting for him at home.

With the resolution that this was a brief mercy visit from a fleeting stranger, Teddy got out of the car, still trying to work out exactly _who _the mercy was for.

* * *

"I'm sorry, are you a relative?" An innocent question from a trainee nurse, somebody who didn't want to let an unfamiliar man into a room with the dying. Still, it was enough to stall Teddy, to make his breath catch in his throat.

"I-I'm his nephew," the words out before Teddy could stop them, digging hands into pockets so she couldn't see them shake.

"I'm not sure I can-"

"Nurse Kai," a man's voice, sterner yet quiet, interrupted her. Dr Betel was a tall and lean aging man with a bald spot, his glasses sat on the end of his crooked nose, falling down his face so often in a minute he did not bother to push them back up. "Why don't you allow me to handle this?"

The young woman blushed and hurried off. Betel made eye contact with Teddy for a split second before they both looked away. "A nephew, you said?"

Teddy nodded, already thinking there was no way such a prestigious hospital would allow just anybody in to see their sickest patients and at least he tried because now Danny couldn't hate him forever.

The doctor was staring even though he was pretending he wasn't. It was as if he knew the truth, knew Teddy was lying, but that calling him out on it was not something he could consider.

"Victor is resting right now, but you are welcome to sit with him," he explained, shocking Teddy more than a little bit as he began to lead him down the corridor to a room with a window looking in.

Teddy couldn't bear to look- certain if he did he would change his mind and run. So he followed the doctor into the room and pretended he understood the medical jargon he was using in relation to the condition of the man in the bed.

Betel left them alone, and Teddy had to resist the desire to follow him out. Aside from the beeping and bleeping of machines, it was utterly silent. Teddy was holding his breath, and it seemed like the man in the bed wasn't so steady with his either.

Betel was right about one thing- the patient was asleep. This was a Godsend to Teddy, whose hands and knees were still shaking somewhat.

He was trying so very hard not to properly look, but eventually he gave in pretending and just stared, horrified this man was one he did not recognise.

His face was much too thin, bones sticking out in places where they hadn't before; the thick grey hair he had one had was replaced with thin tufts of white; there were wires and an oxygen mask and- as he let out the sickening breath he'd kept inside all this time- Teddy realised, an catheter.

Teddy's head began to spin. This was wrong, this was all wrong, so wrong- such a stupid mistake because this was not the same man who had left him on Henry Conrad's doorstep all those years ago, and logically he had always known nobody was indestructible but that did not account for this deterioration in any way.

Wanted to leave, wanted Danny to burst in and tell him this was all just a way to get him here and surprise! because really Victor was in the next room, doing absolutely stellar for his age.

He waited.

And he waited.

But Danny did not come and wake him from this nightmare.


	10. Chapter 10

He couldn't sit down on the bed, because it was too close to Victor. The chair was out of the question too, because what if he did something completely silly and touched the older man's hand-purely out of sympathy, of course?

Where was everybody? His mother, his aunts and uncles, his cousins. Didn't they take it in shifts to watch over the ailing? Was the room always this empty?

After a long time of standing as far away from the bed as he could, he noticed movement. It was faint, but present all the same- the light flicker of eyelids, the gentle twitch of a finger.

Victor let out a small groan and it surprised Teddy he did not even need to bite his tongue in order to keep up with the ominous silence.

He did not feel compelled to reassure the other man; he did not need to force his legs to stay in the current spot and avoid rushing to his bedside. As it turned out, his body and mind had no desire to make amends.

Unfortunately, his heart was still slightly conflicted.

He watched with no feeling as the older man struggled with the oxygen mask, felt numbness penetrate any pity that had plagued him moments ago.

"Martin," not a question, but far from an answer either. Barely above a whisper, so weak and frail Teddy had to wonder if it was part-pretend. "I'm so h-happy...you could...come."

Teddy folded his arms, mind bitterly throwing around petty insults like: _cut the crap, you can't fool me, _and _your Oscar's outside, you call me all the way here to go get it for you?_

Cowardice and the fear his voice would not be steady prevented him from voicing any of them, but the fact he did not immediately begin to tend to Victor served as insult enough.

The older man frowned- or what may have been a frown had his lips not been so dry they were pasted together- but uncurled a pale fist, outstretched his palm, a welcome, an offering.

Teddy did not move, felt his own hands ball into fists, a resentment he had told himself he was man enough to put aside resurfacing.

"You left me," he said, before he could be pulled back into the manipulative cycle that was his relationship with his 'father.' "I needed help. I needed _you_...but you just left me."

And Victor was not strong enough to argue, which was perhaps why Teddy felt so brave all of a sudden.

"Martin." Tears, freaking _tears _rolling down sunken cheeks, and Teddy couldn't do this, wouldn't do this. Not when he felt emotionally blackmailed and trapped and as though if he stayed here a minute longer he'd never be able to get back to where he wanted to be.

The door opened and Teddy had to take a step back. Danny ignored him completely, instead went straight to Victor. He stood at an angle, blocking Teddy's view, leaving him only to imagine Danny wiping Victor's tears with the tissues he had plucked from the box on the bedside table.

When Danny stepped away, his gaze finally fell on Teddy. "You decided to show up then?" His seething anger was seized by Victor's hand on his arm, and it was then that Teddy finally realised.

In this scenario, _he _was the stranger- not Danny.

He didn't even know what type of cancer was killing Victor, while Danny was obviously close enough to be called by Dr Bethel.

Danny's first thought upon entering the room was not to help Teddy escape this situation, but to comfort Victor.

He was being bitterly ridiculous and he knew it, but Teddy couldn't help but feel like he'd been slapped: intentional or not, they'd replaced him with each other.

In being the force pulling them together, he had pushed himself out of the equation entirely.

"I shouldn't have come here," he blurted, not leaving time for a reply before walking out of the room, closing the door firmly, leaving a dying man to his regret.

"Where the hell are you going?" A voice that made him shiver, echoing in the corridor, and Danny was grabbing his arm. Had he followed him out? "What did you say to him? You were in there, what, half an hour, and now you're done?"

"Why did you want me to come here?" Tried to shake him off, almost losing his balance in the process, needing to lean on the wall to steady himself.

"We've been through this already, I wanted you-"

"-you wanted me to do _what_, Danny? Whatever it is he needs _I _can't give it to him."

"You haven't even _tried," _Danny snapped, inches from his face, stepping back only when footsteps grew closer.

"_I_ called Danny," Dr Bethel said, as if that should bring about a great feeling of understanding when in fact it only brought another fresh wave of anger and resentment.

First name basis? _Really_?

What did Victor need him for exactly? It seemed like he had found a new son in Danny.

"I can't do this." He was away before they could process, pushing through double doors, passing waiting rooms and reception desks on his way.

He took the stairs at a hazardous pace, yet a part of him wanted to slow down, to see if Danny was chasing after him.

When he came to the ground floor, he pressed his back against another wall to catch his breath, to gather his thoughts.

Had he overreacted? He didn't know the full story...maybe he was not the reason Danny and Victor were suddenly so close. He tried to pretend it wasn't, but he knew exactly why it would hurt so much if he was- because then Danny had known for a long time where he had been, and had chosen not to find him.

The thought had barely surfaced when he caught a glimpse of something tacked to a notice board by the pharmaceutical desk.

It was a Missing Person's billboard, cases that probably tortured Danny, kept him awake at night, but which meant nothing but faces and descriptions to Teddy. All except one.

MISSING: MARTIN G FITZGERALD

MISSING SINCE 05/16/03

LAST SEEN: 321 Vipers Apartment Complex, Queens (his own home)

• Blue eyes

• Brown hair

• 5"9

• Approx 168 lbs (at time of disappearance)

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON HIS WHEREABOUTS PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL POLICE STATION OR LEAVE US A TIP: (718) 525-5553

His own picture was in the middle, an over pixelated image of his face from a period in time when Martin Fitzgerald knew how to smile and _mean_ it.

Teddy ripped it off of the notice board, crumpled it into his hand. He was not Martin; it was not him; he did _not_ need to be found.

The poster was not faded, the paper still crisp. It hadn't been on this billboard since 03'...it had been put up long after.

He'd disappeared fourteen years ago, who was still searching? What kind of person would hold on so long? Who was missing him from their life _that_ desperately? Surely not his father, who had known all along where he was, or his mother, who he was sure too rejoiced when he vanished.

But then who did that leave? Jack? Sam? Viv?

"Martin."

_Danny_.

"Did you do this?" Handed the ball of paper to a confused Danny, who took it and uncrumpled it tentatively.

His eyes scanned the now-damaged poster. "Oh," he muttered, staring at the picture for a beat longer than necessary, as though perhaps he was still hung up on the man in the photograph. "Yeah. Every year, I print a new batch, using a different picture. I-I thought maybe-"

"-did you ever get any? Tips, I mean."

Danny nodded. "I mean, yeah. Whack jobs who claimed to have you locked in their basements, hoping your family would pay up millions in cash. Old ladies who'd swear you were working as their plumber the week before, when really they'd just seen your picture taped to a tree and gotten confused. I checked all the leads out, obviously, but they were just bullshit."

I _checked all of them out, _he said, and Teddy realised that the number listed for tips was a cell and not an office number.

"You did this? By yourself? Every year?"

His heart was beating too fast for his brain to connect to the fact he was still mad at Danny.

Danny shrugged. "I had to be the one to find you." His tone was pained, resigned.

So much so, Teddy found himself thinking up ways to reassure him. "Well, technically you did."

Danny looked up, eyes wild with hurt. "I thought you'd been kidnapped, maybe even killed. Do you know what it's like, to spend all these years telling yourself you should be looking for a body, to _grieve _for your-your best friend, only for him to turn up nine hundred miles away doing absolutely swell for himself?" Danny looked back to the picture. "I know you think Victor left you, and I don't know, maybe he did- but _you _left me, and even though it's selfish, that's all I'll ever see it as."

And if that was supposed to make him hate himself then mission accomplished. But his failings with Danny did not make up for Victor's as a father. "I needed him," Teddy said.

"No, you needed _me," _Danny corrected. "_We_ needed each other. Except we didn't know how to do anything but take back then. Victor just got caught in the crossfire."

Was that true? Had Teddy, back when he was somebody else, projected his anger with Danny onto the closest person, the person who was easy to blame because he'd made his own mistakes- his father?

"We need some air," Danny decided, and Teddy was too weak from thinking to argue. He followed him outside the main doors of the hospital, to a bench dedicated to a doctor who had made a medical breakthrough at this very hospital.

They sat down at opposite sides, inches of space between them that neither wished to acknowledge. Danny leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs, and rubbed his hands down his face.

"I know it's too late for us," he said, "but it's not too late for you and him."

_Can't I have it the other way around? _Teddy wanted to ask, but pride ensured he did not.

"You don't understand-"

"-why did you stay away all these years?" A question Teddy deserved weeks ago but was only just being thrust now.

"I have a life in Nashville. Kids, a career."

"A wife," Danny added.

"Ex-wife," he corrected, folding his hands together in his lap now they had finally stopped shaking.

"Why didn't you ever come back, even just to visit?"

_Because I didn't know how._

"Because it was easier to pretend the life that was working for me was the only one I had." Perhaps the most honest he had been with Danny so far, and wasn't this progress?

Danny shut his eyes. "It wasn't because you didn't want to see me?"

He _did _want to see Danny- always had. What he didn't want to see was Danny happy in a family that would never include him, Danny moving on and coping when he couldn't sleep through the night, Danny looking at him like he wanted something more than friendship but that it was too late, that he had missed his chance, and the feelings he'd once had were simply replaced with pity.

He was messed up back then, a childish excuse for a twenty-six year old man. He didn't want to share his best friend with Elena and Sofie; he didn't want to fall short against somebody he loved; he didn't want to swallow his pride and make the first move, because he was stubborn and arrogant and sure he didn't want Danny to be with anybody else but not sure how to be with Danny himself.

"I knew if I saw you, I might not be able to make myself go back," he said, just loud enough for Danny to hear, loud enough to make Danny look at him like they'd only just met.

"Like I would let you jerk your responsibilities like that," Danny frowned, but Teddy knew he was trying to lighten the mood.

It was true, though. Even on his wedding day, as he was slipping a ring onto Rayna's hand and promising he would always be faithful to her, he was thinking the only exception to this vow would be Danny Taylor.

Rayna was beautiful; Rayna made him happy; Rayna gave him the two most amazing gifts anybody could ever receive- but in comparison to Danny, she did not stand a chance in his heart.

"Can I ask _you _a question now?" He asked, and Danny seemed startled. "When did you find out I was in Nashville?"

Danny took out the poster he had folded into his pocket and began smoothing out the creases. "A few months ago. Victor had an infection, we didn't think he'd make it and he told me one night we were told would be his last."

"But you didn't come and get me then?" Sounded desperate and pathetic but he didn't care.

"He was high on painkillers-I thought he was talking out of his ass, being hopeful. It wasn't until a few weeks later, when he came out of it and we got him home that I realised he was telling the truth." Danny looked at the space between them. "Believe me, I wanted to drive down there and bundle you into my car so many nights you don't know."

"Why didn't you?" Danny didn't deserve this, but Teddy had been interrogated enough already- he was owed this anger.

"Because there was a woman involved- a woman who every website I went on to look you up claimed you adored. If you were really as happy as they said you were, what right did I have to take that away?" He continued, "besides that, there were two children who didn't deserve to have their lives ripped apart just because I could never get over you."

That really shouldn't have filled Teddy with hope, but it did. He wanted to say, _I couldn't get over you either, _but the truth was he could- trying to forget Danny had come easy to him. It was forgetting that he had loved so fiercely that Teddy found difficult, the place where all of his feelings for Danny had been stored a void, a hole, leaving him so empty he was all too often completely numb.

"Do you want to go back inside?" Danny asked, like maybe he wished he could undo what he'd just admitted.

Teddy was glad he couldn't though- it helped it know how Danny felt, especially because he wasn't quite sure how he felt himself most of the time.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Added hastily, when Danny shot him a look of disapproval, "I'll come back later, when we've both had time to think."

Danny didn't seem very happy with this response, but he didn't have time to argue before another thought struck him. "Are you ready to go see your mom?"

He wasn't ready, didn't think he would ever be, but somehow the thought Danny might be with him was better than going alone. So he nodded meekly and Danny said something about giving Sofie his car keys so she could get home herself- and Teddy had not even noticed the girl, but he didn't think he could handle another reunion right now, so he waited on the bench while Danny went back into the hospital to find her.

Forcing himself to stay put in spite of the voice in his mind begging him to just run, Teddy couldn't help but wonder if his mother thought as much of Danny as Victor obviously did, if he would have to compete for the affection of the people he had found hardest to leave at the same time, if she, like Danny, had spent years thinking he was dead when he wasn't?

Unlike the hazardous reunions with both Danny and Victor, Teddy had actually put thought into how this one might go. He had dreamt it so many times- the woman whose goodnight kisses he would stay up until all hours for as a child. His mother would cry, embrace him with open arms, hold him like she never wanted to let him go again- despite the fact he had not a single memory where she had previously demonstrated such warmth toward him. She would kiss both of his cheeks and when he showed her pictures of her grandchildren she would demand details of them; she would be the grandmother his girls had never known; she would approve of Rayna and visit during holidays.

Teddy realised it was worth noting that neither Danny nor Victor had been included in any of these plans.


	11. Chapter 11

**So if you haven't already guessed upload day has been changed to Saturday since apparently all I am capable of doing on a Friday after school is sleeping..still, it means I put more effort in on a Saturday. **

**Thaaank you to new and old followers of this story, the fact this silly little head-cannon I had actually turned into a full blown story that people enjoy is the most amazing thing. **

**Also; try not to hate me after this chapter- especially if you also read P&P...I probably seem like all I ever do is break these boys apart but I'm trying to work toward happy solutions everywhere so bear with me. Enjoy!**

* * *

They had moved while he'd been gone.

The house he had grown up in had been sold; it was too painful for his parents to walk past his old bedroom, to pretend that he had not once sat at the dinner table with them, to accept he would not return to their family home- or at least this was what Danny had told him.

Teddy wondered if Danny realized what he was saying: that they moved because they didn't want to remember he'd ever existed at all.

The new house was smaller and he supposed that made sense because it was just the two of them now, all of the time, nobody to come out and stay on holidays- but still he could not help but wonder if they had a spare bedroom; an empty basement, even- ready and waiting had he ever decided to come home of his own accord.

"This is it," Danny announced, halting the engine of Teddy's rental car.

Teddy decided that remarking how it was not what he expected of a home bought by his parents- disappointingly modern, for a start- was futile. "Oh."

He didn't unbuckle his seat belt- was even contemplating begging Danny to drive him back to the airport so he could jump on a plane and go back to Rayna James being his biggest problem.

Naturally, he accepted this suggestion would not be well greeted.

"I should prepare you," Danny muttered, and the hesitance in his voice was enough to set Teddy's nerves on an even sharper edge. "Your mom...she probably isn't how you remember her."

"We've all changed," Teddy remarked, before glancing down at his hands. "I'm probably not how she remembers me."

_I'll disappoint her, just like I always have. _

Danny looked uncomfortable. "No, listen-"

"-Danny, I can handle it." Forced a tiny smile because it might be out of place and unhelpful but it was really _something _that after so many years Danny was still trying to protect him.

"Martin-"

A part of him (a significantly vocal part) wanted to correct Danny every single time he called him that. He would not be able to stick this thing out until the end of the week with a constant trampling-over of his new identity.

Despite this though, there was something in the way Danny said the name, something that certainly had not been present on the few occasions that he had been kind enough to call him 'Teddy.' He couldn't quite decide what it was- willing patience? reassurance? _hope_?- but it made made his mouth dry instantly and once or twice his heart had quickened in pace only to abruptly return to normal when his mind connected the fact the person Danny still cared for was not him, not anymore.

"Danny, I can handle it," he repeated, although a part of him was still marginally unsure this was really the truth.

What if his mother was angry at him for leaving, for never calling, for making them worry?

What if she was angry at him for coming _back_?

Begrudgingly, with a heavy heart and an even heavier step, Teddy opened the car door and got out.

* * *

The maid who answered the door threw her arms around Danny and kissed both of his cheeks, talking too fast in a language Teddy had not heard in so long that his mind wasn't keeping up like it should have.

When her gaze finally fell on him, she looked back to Danny and said something else in hushed Spanish- as if he could understand her anyway- and when Danny nodded yes her eyes filled with tears. "I did not- I never thought-"

Teddy looked away, uncomfortable. He didn't remember her, and that made him feel worse because even _Danny _knew her... and logically he understood it was not a competition, but occasionally, remembering that was somewhat of a struggle.

He followed Danny inside, feeling odd and imposed and a complete and utter lie being welcomed into the home of his mother and father by people who were not even relatives; a hired woman he did not remember and a man who might be slightly less than a stranger to him now but certainly not by much.

In another life, he may have walked on into this house of his own accord, rather than waiting on the porch for Danny to knock. He may have had his own key, walked right in like he would someday own the place. It might have been _him_ driving Danny out here, introducing him to maids who reacted with only slight recognition in their eyes- like they had heard a brief mention of _Danny's _name and nothing more. He may have been the one leading the way down the hall and into the room where his mother was, may have been the one making the introductions.

But this wasn't another life, and this was not his old one, either.

He had thought no matter which house his parents lived in, regardless of the address or the cars parked outside or the friends he did not know in the dining room, the sheer atmosphere and decor would be familiar enough to engulf him in his memories so deeply he wouldn't be able to claw his way back out, that simply by stepping over the threshold of a house owned by his family he would be his old self again. Martin Fitzgerald would be in the place Teddy Conrad had been and everybody here would be elated and he would be too busy revelling in the fact he'd actually made Danny and everybody else he used to love smile again to care about any of the complications that would stem from this.

Standing there, in the hallway, in the shadow of Danny who spoke to the maid in her native language and hung his coat up by the door like this was his second home, he didn't feel any closer to being Martin Fitzgerald again. In fact, he felt even farther from the person he used to be. He wasn't a son, a best friend, a misguided and lost FBI agent...he was just Teddy Conrad- father, mayor, constant screw-up.

His throat was dry. "Danny-" he tried to say, but a troubled croak came out instead. One Danny didn't seem to hear, or chose not to take notice of.

Danny pushed the door to what Teddy guessed was the living room open, confidence replaced with hesitance when the maid disappeared into another room (the kitchen, perhaps?) turning to Teddy with a look of '_are you sure about this_?' in his eyes and Teddy wanted to run away before his heart could twist inside his chest any more.

The words wouldn't come, stuck somewhere between his mind and his mouth. Danny turned back around and entered the room, startling Teddy completely when he put his hand on his arm and gently tugged him forward.

It was supposed to help, this gentle encouragement, but it didn't.

There were two women in the room, sitting together on the patterned cream couch. He did not know one of them: he did not look at her long enough to double-check. His eyes fell immediately on the one he _did _recognise- her hair chin-length and completely grey, wrinkles and frown lines on her forehead distracting him momentarily from the eyes he had not realised were almost identical to those of his youngest daughter.

Seconds turned to minutes and nobody spoke nor moved. He was holding his breath, waiting for her arms around him, a kiss on the cheek, the loving reunion he had anticipated.

But it didn't come.

They were staring at each other, but it felt like she was looking right through him. He told himself it must be the shock...it had been fourteen years, after all.

"How is she?" Danny asked, and that was when Teddy realised he was talking about his mother to the other woman. Finally, he took notice of the other stranger- mid-thirties, blonde hair and a private nurse's uniform.

_Nurse_? Why did his mother need a nurse? Was she ill too?

"It's been a difficult morning," the woman sighed, speaking directly to Danny, not even acknowledging Teddy's presence in the room.

He looked back to his mother- she wasn't frighteningly pale like Victor had been, nor was she hooked up to an IV or clinging to an oxygen mask. She just looked...upset.

"Martha," Danny said, taking a step forward, standing between her and Teddy like a bridge, a referee. "How are you feeling?"

A repressed rage struck Teddy then. Why did Danny want him to come back so badly, to see his father, to make amends with his mother, only to jump in every single time Teddy got close to connecting with one of them? When he had attempted to pull Teddy from his new life, Danny had neglected to mention that he had neatly taken his place in his old one.

"Mom," Teddy blurted out, taking two steps forward in order to be closer to her than Danny was. "Mom."

Danny mumbled something inaudible under his breath; the nurse shot Teddy a glare. "I think you should-" she began, and it was only when his mother turned to him that he understood.

When she met his eyes, there was no recognition. No joy; no anger. No resentment or concern or relief. She just blinked and turned back to Danny.

"Who is this?" Her words were like tiny marble pebbles being dropped individually and slowly into a pond- the splash, the ripple effect, the inevitable sinking.

He deserved her attitude, probably. After all, he _had_ left without so much as a goodbye. "Look, Mom," he began, reaching out to touch her, only for her to pull away- her expression suddenly one of innocent and pure fear- a child alone and abandoned somewhere completely foreign.

"Why is he calling me that?" She looked from Danny to the other woman- Clare, according to her name badge.

Teddy turned to Danny, confusion mixing with earlier anger. He watched Danny swallow hard.

"Martha, this is Martin. Your son."

She laughed out loud- her laugh harsh and rough and nothing like the sweet comfort Teddy remembered. "Don't be silly, dear," she said, tone strangled with the effort of remaining calm. "I don't have a son."

Clare visibly winced, and Danny shut his eyes tight, frustrated perhaps. Teddy was still trying to catch up. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call but-" he was reaching out again before he could stop himself, and she was jerking back more dramatically this time, within seconds Danny's arms pulling him back and Clare trying to calm her down like he was some monster who'd attacked her, rather than a child reaching for his mother.

"He's going to hurt me!" she repeated and of course Clare was trying to convince her otherwise but it was too late. There were tears on her cheeks, maybe the only thing Teddy had in common with her.

"Mom," he tried a third time, pulling away from Danny's attempts to draw him back, draw him out of the room. "It's me. It's your son." Lower, barely more than a whisper, "It's me, _Martin_."

"I don't care who you are! Leave me alone!" She leaned forward, the neatest person Teddy had ever known carelessly pushing the nearby coffee table over and smashing a glass vase in the process. "Leave me _alone_!" She screamed one final time.

So he did.

* * *

"Why didn't you _tell _me?!" He was in Danny's face the moment they were alone, a fury he hadn't felt in so long overcoming him.

Danny just took a step back. "I _tried_."

"You should have tried harder!" Maybe if Teddy had known about his mother's dementia, he would not have been so abrupt as to reach out to her, to call her 'mom' straight off the bat; maybe he would have arranged to come on a day when she wasn't being quite so difficult; maybe his yearning for a connection with her would not have been rushed, could have been taken at a calmer pace in a way that would not have left her sobbing and him enraged.

Maybe nothing Danny could have done or said would have changed the outcome, but Teddy chose to pretend it would have. If it was Danny's fault then it wasn't his, after all. If Danny could have made things easier for his mother then it took a load off Teddy.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how." He sounded stricken, genuinely guilty, but that wasn't enough, not by a long shot- not this time.

"She remembered _you_, though, didn't she?"

Danny looked up, frowning. "What?"

"She was asking _you_ questions; asking _you_ who _I _was. Tell me Danny, do you really want me here or did you just want to show off how easy it was to take my place with them?"

Danny had him pinned against the wall before he could finish. "Is that what you think? Are you _that _self-absorbed?"

He barked out a sarcastic laugh, pretending the spark in Danny's eyes did not worry him slightly. "I'm calling it like I see it: my family- my _life_- seems to be suiting you perfectly."

Danny scowled at that, glaring at him as though _he_ was the one being gripped tightly by the shirt. "I'm sorry your mother doesn't remember you; I'm sorry your father wasn't well enough to fall at your feet in apology when you went into that hospital room. But our lives didn't grind to a halt just because you walked out on _us_; just because _you _stopped caring doesn't mean everybody else did too."

"I bet she thinks you're her son, does she? I bet she wishes you were." He didn't know where all these bitter statements were coming from- the tiny long-hidden part of his brain, perhaps, that had cracked open the moment his mother's first tears began to fall.

"Oh come _on_." Danny looked disgusted. "Half the time she thinks I'm the mailman, the rest of the time she thinks I've come begging for money."

"What about Victor? You're telling me you and he aren't best pals now? You're telling me you aren't all of the things I couldn't be?"

It was stupid to compare, of course, but Teddy couldn't help it: Victor's son had always been a coward; Danny was one of the bravest people he had ever met. Victor's son wasn't naturally funny, screwed up punch-lines when nervous, never knew the right thing to say to their high-class friends; Danny was the life and soul of any party, could charm the leg off a stool, had a smile that made everybody in the room gravitate toward him.

There were a million things that Danny was and Danny did and Danny _had_ done that would displease Victor and his mother, but in comparison with a son who couldn't cope in the aftermath of a hostage situation, he was no doubt elevated, a ring higher than Martin Fitzgerald had ever been able to reach.

Between a man who shamed their family and a man who had been there when needed most, the winner was obvious.

What a surprise. Being Major of Nashville and a having beautiful family did not change a thing: in comparison to Danny Taylor, Teddy was still losing.

"Only you could make this a competition," scorn evident in his voice, mingled with disappointment, and if Teddy had been capable of hurting any more then he would have. "You know what? Maybe it's a good thing you left; you're not the man I built you up to be, anyway," Danny announced, stepping back, holding hands up in defeat and slowly backing out of the room- waiting to be proved otherwise.

Teddy did not move.

* * *

"You realize I need your rental car to get home, don't you?" Danny's voice, an air of humour, as he sat down beside Teddy on the bench by the garden's central water feature.

"Yeah, I figured." Teddy wasn't sure why he was blushing- maybe his outburst earlier, the fact he had let petty jealousy get the better of his rationality.

Danny sat close enough that Teddy could smell his cologne, and somehow that made his next announcement all the more painful. "I'm going back to Nashville."

"Damn right you are; you think I want to be stuck with you forever?" He was trying to lighten the mood and Teddy did appreciate it- it broke the tension, at the very least- but the words struck the most agonising chord with him all the same.

"I mean I'm going back _now_. Well, as soon as I can get a flight."

Danny raised his head, staring at the sky above them. "Because of me?"

Teddy shook his head. "Because of _me_." He sighed, "I thought I could do this, but I was wrong."

"I didn't mean what I said in there, you know." He was nervous too by now, fiddling with his fingers, like he was debating where they belonged: bunched to a fist buried in his trouser pockets or laced with Teddy's. "I was never glad you left- I'm still not."

A moment of silence for words that shouldn't have been exchanged. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was...rude."

Danny laughed, probably thinking that it was hilarious he was apologising for the way he said something rather than the fact he said it. But the truth was, what he said had been honest, if only in that moment. What was the point in saying he wished he could take it back, when most of it was still circling around his brain?

"I never meant...I'm not...listen, I didn't mean to step on your toes," Danny said. "At the beginning, being around your dad was a-a comfort, you know? Jack was so busy trying to piece the team back together, but I didn't want to. I didn't give a damn about finding missing strangers- I just wanted to find you." He cleared his throat, looked away awkwardly. "Your dad...he understood that. Unlike Jack, he listened when I told him I had a new lead and thought whatever time it was would be the one time I'd really find you. In hindsight, he was probably just being polite, but at the time, he was the only person who had the same hole in his life that I did."

Back when Teddy was someone else, he had witnessed first-hand the determination of Agent Danny Taylor when working particular cases that hit home- the thought of the dead-ends he ran into, the leads that turned out bogus, the witnesses he'd chased down who were simply mistaken...it made Teddy sympathise with him. When put like that, what excuse did _he_ reallyhave for never writing or calling?

"I didn't plan to get close to them- not like this anyway. I just thought that maybe...maybe they had information I didn't. Maybe it was something to do with your family...maybe through them I could get more information on where you'd go," Danny said, looking ashamed with himself for admitting to using Martha and Victor, but Teddy was ever-so-slightly relieved. It was selfish and he knew it, but he wanted Danny on _his _side, exclusively, so it was a reassurance to know that the relationship threatening that had initially been orchestrated. "But then Victor got sick. It wasn't until then that I realised your Mom had been ill for a while too. You know how proud they are- you know them better than I do, after all. They never asked me for help and I never imagined I would be able to...but you were gone and Victor and Martha weren't- they needed me like I knew you had. I had realised too late that I didn't give you what you wanted, so maybe I was overcompensating. Hell, maybe I still am- I don't know. I guess, deep down, I thought that if I did enough for them, somehow it might mean the universe owed me a favour of my own in return."

Teddy didn't need to ask what that favour was. "You just wanted to help." Stating the obvious, realising too late that in his guilt-fuelled haze he had wanted to blame somebody for the place he'd lost in his parent's lives- Danny was the easiest target.

"I could never replace you," Danny said. "You're...a tough act to follow." Nudged him with his elbow until Teddy was smiling.

"Thank you for taking care of them," Teddy said, but it felt forced. It was not his place to thank Danny for that- he had lost all emotional rights to his parents the same day they had lost their emotional rights to him.

"You can thank me by letting me take care of _you_."

Teddy sighed. "I can't stay; I don't even have a change of clothes. Besides," paused to look up at the house behind him, no longer fit to be regarded anybody's home, "I don't think I can stay here."

"_Duh_," Danny scoffed, resting a hand on Teddy's shoulder, and for the very first time it didn't make him nauseous. It actually felt...nice. Not like it once had, but it was _better _than he thought being touched by Danny ever could feel again. "You're going to stay with me. At least for a few days."

"I couldn't possibly-" the nausea returned with a vengeance, because there was still the potential girlfriend they had yet to discuss and what if she lived with Danny? Teddy wasn't sure he could not watch Danny wrap his arm around the waist of a no-doubt beautiful woman, gaze into her eyes like she hung the moon, lace their fingers together and pull her into a kiss like both Martin _and _Teddy had dreamed Danny would do to _him _one day.

"-don't be ridiculous. You're staying with me and that's final. I have a bunch of spare clothes that'll fit you- you look like you've lost weight anyway. You don't stress eat anymore?" Punctuated with a poke to a flat stomach through his shirt, and Teddy couldn't help but smirk.

"Shut up. Actually, I just work out more now."

"Oh yeah, must burn a lot of calories, running away from your responsibilities." If Danny had said that an hour ago Teddy probably would have socked him, but now he just laughed along, until he couldn't tell which laugh was his and which was Danny's. This was not an insult; this wasn't two men trying to tear each other's lives apart. It was a couple of old friends, who time had changed, trying to recapture a bond they once shared and finding it increasingly easy- but also increasingly frightening.

"See? Look at us. I bet you didn't think you'd be laughing at my astounding humour three weeks ago when you were throwing me out, did you?" Danny looked behind him at the house. "If we can turn it around, so can you and your mom."

Danny may only have been saying it to convince Teddy to stay but it didn't matter in that moment. Just like it didn't matter Teddy didn't have a change of clothes, or that Danny was probably head-over-heels in love with his new girlfriend. All that mattered was that he felt more at home touching shoulders and sharing laughs with Danny than he did in his mother's house, at his father's bedside, cursing the New York traffic.

It was enough, if only for the few days he intended to stay.


	12. Chapter 12

**In case you can't already tell, I'm completely ignoring ongoing canon Nashville-wise (not least because Season 2 has not been aired in the UK yet) so don't expect anything in the show to really come up for the foreseeable future in this fic haha. **

**Enjoy! x**

* * *

Teddy was already regretting the decision.

"You know, I really don't want to put you to any trouble-"

Danny rolled his eyes as they reached the floor of his apartment. "Don't be ridiculous." He stuck his key in the door.

"You still live here?" Teddy asked, admitting his surprise that through fourteen years and at least one marriage Danny had remained in the same apartment.

"I didn't want to move in case-" Danny stopped short, looked away awkwardly and Teddy felt his stomach flip.

In case he came back, came here looking for Danny?

It was more thought regarding him than his parents had demonstrated.

Danny pushed the door open without bothering to finish his sentence- a relief, actually, because Teddy had no idea how to reply. "Guys!" He called as he stepped inside, expecting Teddy to follow. "I'm home!"

The woman who appeared in front of them was much too young to be Danny's girlfriend- her chin was still round with adolescence, her CCNY hoodie too new. Aside from that, Teddy recognised her from the picture Danny had showed him.

It was Sofie Delgado.

Well, she was probably Taylor now, if Danny had officially adopted her...Teddy wasn't how that had worked. Not that it really mattered.

Her eyes widened with surprise when she recognised him; she held her hand to her mouth. "Uncle Martin?"

It was an innocent greeting- the only name she had ever really known him by- but it made Teddy bristle anyway. He shouldn't correct her- the poor girl looked confused enough, after all- but when she said that name it made his body tense...not at all the reaction he had when Danny said it.

Sofie turned to her father, looking a little betrayed. "How did you- did you know where he was, this entire time?"

Danny looked at Teddy and then back to Sofie. "No. I only found out a few weeks ago... I went to Nashville to find him."

"I thought you went to Nashville for work." A boy's voice, and Teddy hadn't even noticed the teenager behind Sofie until he took a step forward.

Danny smirked at the kid whom he had told Teddy about on the drive here. "Well, technically I _did _find a missing person."

Sofie laughed, but the boy didn't. Danny's smile did not waver, but he rested his hand on the kid's shoulders and squeezed.

"Caleb, this is Martin." A hesitation- slight but still there- before adding, "but we're going to call him Teddy." Teddy forced his best smile but the boy did not return his sentiments.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Sofie asked, looking Teddy up and down like if she stopped he might vanish again.

Teddy cleared his throat and looked at Danny. "Actually, he's going to stay with us for a few days."

Sofie's smile was wide. "That's great," she gushed. "It's all so great. Just this morning we were talking about how you could be dead-" She cut off, touching the back of her neck, like she didn't know what to do with herself now reality had set in. "It's just such a surprise that you're here."

Teddy blushed, not comfortable with this conversation solely centred on him. "Thanks. Uh, can I uh- use your bathroom?"

Danny nodded and made a suggestion they re-locate to the kitchen to plan dinner (and only Danny Taylor could make cooking sound like a military operation) leaving Teddy alone to stumble down the familiar hall.

The last time he had been in this apartment the walls had been lined with frames empty of proper pictures- the fake smiles of a family of actors inside purely decorative plastic and wood.

"I'll fill them someday," Danny had told him once when he commented on how unnerving he found the artificial glee of strangers, "when I have enough memories." And he had stopped to look at Martin then, as though maybe he were trying to suggest those memories would be made with him.

Now though, the same frames were filled with pictures of the teenagers in the kitchen. School photographs- smiles too forced and hair too neat but a fire of determination in the eyes of both children enough of a reminder that they were Danny's, regardless of genetics or legality. As his eyes scanned the other pictures, he watched them grow up right in front of his eyes, watched Sofie flourish from a smiling ballerina engulfed in her mother's embrace to a triumphant ice skating champ holding a shining trophy with pride; watched the boy, Caleb, transform from his shy, hesitant, almost forced grin, hiding behind an array of toys one birthday, to being caught mid-laugh surrounded by colour the next; dressed in a dreary suit for his Holy Communion, clutching a tattered bible (Danny's own, no doubt) to the centre of a baseball team with his peers, holding his bat like it were an accessory and not a weapon.

A picture of the three of them: Sofie, Caleb and their obviously-doting father on some beach late enough in the year to be wearing coats and scarves and hats- because Danny had always insisted Winter was when the ocean and the sand was most beautiful. Their smiles matched in width and potency: they clung to each other, the tide and the icy sun a backdrop behind them.

Teddy had only just laid eyes on these kids but already he could tell Danny had been, and was still being, a damn good parent- alone or not.

It made him think of his own children, of how he and Rayna were coping with parenting separately. In comparison to Danny, it seemed he was doing a pretty piss-poor job.

When he spent as long as he could in the bathroom- just considering how to act, what to say that wouldn't break the delicate thread Danny was still clinging to- he returned to the kitchen, surprised they weren't even whispering about him.

"We had Pizza last night," Caleb complained and Danny whacked him with the dish-cloth he was using to dry up bowls leftover from breakfast.

"Things sure go to the dogs when I'm not around," Sofie mused, and Danny looked away, distant, for reasons Teddy did not quite understand.

"What do you want to eat?" Danny asked after a moment, turning to him. "I can cook or we can order in- guest's choice."

"Oh, I'm not really hungry." It was a lie- he was _starving. _He just didn't want Danny to make a bigger deal of this than necessary. "Just do whatever you would normally do."

Danny looked at Caleb and, in unison, they said, "Thai."

Sofie rolled her eyes and shot Teddy a, '_you see what I have to put up with?'_ look.

He smiled- maybe it wouldn't be so hellish here, after all.

* * *

Having a meal with Danny was surreal- having a meal with Danny and his two children was something else entirely.

Sofie graciously filled any silences with tales of her travels; Danny fussed over Caleb and Teddy in turn, constantly asking if they were okay as they were both being so quiet.

Teddy was quiet because he didn't know how to fit into this setup, this family- yet another one which did not belong to him; he figured maybe Caleb was quiet because he simply wasn't comfortable around strangers.

After they'd finished eating, Teddy watched the boy clear the table and begin to wash up- something that surprised him, not simply because he thought everybody had dishwashers now (although that was a slight shock) but because Caleb was a teenage boy who seemed anything but domestic.

"Tonight's your night off," Danny announced. "Go watch some TV with Sofie. Teddy can help me out."

Instead of looking relieved, Caleb seemed annoyed with this altering. He sulked out of the kitchen, Sofie following fast behind.

"Is he alright?" Teddy asked, getting to his feet and making his way over to the sink.

Danny nodded, but he still looked concerned. "There's just a lot going on right now."

"Does he see his real parents?" Too late Teddy realised this was insensitive but Danny's eyes had already darkened- a lion protecting his young with all the strength he had.

"I _am _his real parent," he practically growled and Teddy took a step back for his own safety.

"I meant his _biological _parents," Teddy explained. "His mother."

This seemed like the wrong question as well- Danny looked away from him. "She isn't involved in Caleb's life right now. We're keeping it that way." It sounded like the insistence of somebody who was feeling threatened, but Teddy couldn't say he blamed him. It would be the equivalent of him having to share Maddie with Deacon.

"He seems like a pretty good kid," Teddy said, an attempt to pacify the conversation. In all honesty, he hadn't really been around the boy long enough to judge anything other than the fact Caleb was solidly ignoring him.

"He _is_." Somewhat defensive but Teddy found it admirable of adequate parenting- not to mention slightly adorable.

"I meant you're doing a pretty good job," Teddy reiterated, handing Danny a glass that was dripping wet.

Danny still seemed a little hesitant to accept this compliment, struggling, "we're doing just fine."

They continued to wash and dry in silence until Danny gave in, changing to a much more neutral subject less likely to enrage either of them. "You can sleep in my room."

Teddy almost choked. "W-what?"

Danny had a self-satisfied smirk on his face before Teddy's disbelief was even spoken. "Get your mind out of the gutter, you sick freak. I'll sleep on the couch."

Teddy felt himself blush. "I already said, I don't want to put you to any trouble…"

"Shut up and stop being so nice to me just because I have the power to throw you out- it's unnerving." Danny whacked him with a dishcloth and Teddy took this as an indication that this would be the perfect time to splash soapy water on Danny's shirt- a sign of war that was met with a look of horror.

Five minutes later, they were laughing and drenched in dishwater. Not exactly the classy aftermath Teddy had always envisioned of their first dinner together, but it was damn good start.

* * *

Caleb claimed to need Danny's help with math homework- despite Sofie's instances' that Danny was quite possibly the _worst _person to help with math homework and Teddy's courteous offers to help instead- and the two of them went upstairs to the privacy of Caleb's bedroom.

"Is he usually this quiet?" Teddy asked Sofie when they were out of earshot.

She smiled. "You mean _rude_?" Shaking her head, she said, "Rarely. Try not to take it personally- sometimes he even acts like that when I come home."

It was a relief to hear that it was not just him who had been on the receiving end of Caleb's 'welcoming' treatment, but 'not taking it personally' was still a struggle. "I don't want to upset him."

"He's just not used to sharing Dad with anybody but me; he's had him to himself for so long. It's best not to get involved, he'll come around in a few days when he sees you aren't a threat."

"I hope so," Teddy said, before realizing he wasn't going to be here _in a few days._ "If it's going to be a problem, I can stay at a hotel-"

Sofie shook her head again. "-No way! Dad wants you here; that's all that matters. Besides, you're always welcome with us: this is your home."

She meant New York, probably, not this apartment- but all Teddy could think was that if it had been his home, it wouldn't have been hers; that one reason he had been so quick to disappear in the first place was because he, like Caleb, did not want to share Danny with someone else (in his case, Sofie's mother.)

"So you're a Mayor in Nashville, now?"

He looked up. "How did you-?"

"-We googled you," she said casually, "While you and dad were in the kitchen. YouTubed your ex-wife too- she's a really good singer."

Teddy was at a loss for words. "Uh, thanks?"

Sofie smiled, but there was an edge to it now. "You know my Dad barely dates."

He looked back down to the floor. "You mean he isn't um, seeing anybody right now?"

"Nope."

He cleared his throat, thinking of the girlfriend he had imagined would live here. "You sure?"

Sofie frowned. "Yeah. I think I'd know."

Should be a reassurance, but it wasn't. Sofie had been away for a whole month, after all. Plus, it was possible he was seeing somebody and simply hadn't told the kids yet- Danny seemed like that kind of protective parent, one who made sure something was serious before adjusting his children to the idea.

It was strange to refer to Sofie as a child or a kid when she was old enough to drive, own her own property, drink alcohol. The woman in front of him had finished college; spent the last month abroad with only friends for comfort. She was a full grown adult by anybody's standards- but Danny still spoke to and about her like she was his baby, and maybe that was why Teddy had trouble seeing her as anything else.

"If you're thinking of making a move, you better win Caleb over first," Sofie warned. "He comes first with Dad- 100 times out of 10. I know everybody says it, but he _really _wouldn't even consider going out with someone Caleb didn't approve of- not even you."

"I-I'm not…" That wasn't why he had come here...was it? He had wanted to rekindle a relationship with his mother; maybe mend things enough to allow his father to die in peace…_and _get Danny's cell number while he was at it?

Suddenly, he felt like he had taken advantage. Danny was treating him like a broken bird; something he could mend, someone he could fix with a few days of compassion and laughter. And maybe he was right- maybe he _could_- but there was always the fact Teddy would inevitably fly away, go back to Nashville, and although Danny insisted he was okay with it, he had already proven once he wasn't very good at letting go.

Teddy had no intention whatsoever of staying in New York longer than it would take for his father to die and for him to sort proper care for his mother- but that didn't mean he had the willpower to prevent nourishing his relationship with Danny. They were getting closer, and while at first he had contributed it to the fact Danny loved the man he used to be, there was no denying there was still something small between them- regardless of who Teddy was now.

It was a matter of time before something would happen and then Teddy would go back to his own family, one thousand miles away, and where would that leave them?

"Sofie, I'm not here because I want to make a move on your father." He did his very best to force a little laugh to illustrate how ridiculous he saw the situation.

Sofie laughed too, and only then did Teddy realise there were tears in her eyes. He imagined what her childhood must have been like- her father forever searching for someone who wasn't there.

As though he had implanted the thought in her mind, she looked up at him. "You know, for a long time, I blamed you for the divorce."

He turned to her, an apology already on his tongue before he realised he did not know what he was actually apologising for. "_Me_?" Certain he had heard her wrong.

She nodded. "It was easier to blame you than it was to blame them, I guess. Because you broke Daddy's heart; because you being gone meant they were always at the office, working overtime to find you or just because they were short-staffed; because Dad would spend money searching for you that Mama thought he should be saving; because every time they argued, your name came up; because you weren't there to defend yourself." Hesitation in her voice, like the next part was secret information, "Some days, I used to hope you'd never be found, so that they might eventually get back together."

Teddy hadn't thought he could not feel worse than he did a moment ago- he was wrong, of course. He hadn't just destroyed Danny's life when he left; he'd destroyed his marriage, too.

"Sofie," he said. "I didn't know."

That was a lie, in part. He had wanted Danny's attention and he had wanted Danny to leave Elena- he just hadn't planned on that success making him feel this shitty.

"I know it's not your fault _anymore_," Sofie said, smiling a little weakly. "But when you're nine years old and everybody you love is leaving, you don't think logically. I needed somebody to blame and you were an easy target...now it feels so dumb to even think about, but back then it made so much sense."

It _still _made sense- to Teddy at least. When he heard Sofie talking, all he could imagine were Maddie and Daphne: each a daughter torn between two parents who love her, blaming everyone and anyone for their divorce in a desperate attempt to maintain a relationship with both of them.

"I'm really sorry I left." Empty words, a void of any proper emotion- he _wasn't _sorry, not really. A life without Nashville would have been a life without Rayna, a life without his daughters. Furthermore, he did what he had to do in the situation he was put in- at the time, there was no other way out that he could see; at the time, leaving was the only way to save himself.

"Just don't...hurt him again, okay?" An intended threat, no doubt, but the concern shining in her brown eyes made it an unmistakable plea. "I know you probably think he's gotten so tough since you left- and he _has_- but you're still the one person who can change that."

The hair on his arms stood up with the power of what she had just said. "Sofie, I'm really not-"

"_-Interested_?" She raised an eyebrow: a _yeah right. _"Well, I just wanted to talk to you about it. I like you, I'm glad you're safe and I don't want you to ever be uncomfortable here, but if you showed up to mess around with my Dad's heart then Caleb and I won't hesitate to kick your ass." She smiled, sweet and soft and joking, but it still made Teddy unnerved.

He nodded. "Right. Well, uh, thanks for the warning, I guess." He wanted to tell her it was in vain, that it was not necessary because he was much more sensible than he had been fourteen years ago, but the words would not come. Probably because the last thing he wanted to do was lie to her, and he could not undoubtedly guarantee that things with him and Danny would go no further.

"No problem," she said and he blinked, wishing he had dreamt this entire conversation.

* * *

He made an excuse about jet-lag sometime around 8 o'clock so he could leave the living room gracefully (checking once again if Danny _really _didn't mind that he sleep upstairs.)

Danny bedroom smelt like Danny- no real surprise, but an added complication all the same. After two hours of staring at the ceiling, Teddy realized he was not going to sleep and instead busied himself trying to think of a solution to the problems in his life.

An hour and a half later, his mind was creating problems where there hadn't been any before; he had solved not a single one.

He decided to call the girls to say goodnight- only to get Rayna's answering machine. She was probably singing at The BlueBird with Deacon or doing something equally as disturbing, and she most likely did not see the harm in bringing the girls along.

Of course this was all hypothetical- the three of them could just as easily have been at Tandy's- but Teddy's insecure mind played on the first option. He imagined Deacon charming his daughters, promising the most beautiful guitar and a record contract and even their mother's happiness- all things Teddy could not give.

He thought about going home early, making an excuse about needing to see the girls and just keeping them for the foreseeable future...to hell with what Rayna thought. He was not the one flaunting attractive alternatives in their faces, stealing their loyalty with the glamorous life of young girls' dreams, poisoning their innocent minds with influences like Juliette Barnes- surely that made him the better parent.

Except it was not a competition- they loved their mother, regardless of the lies and the busy schedule and the all the petty disagreements. They loved Teddy too, and he knew it, but being apart from them always made it difficult to remember that.

Quietly, careful not to disturb Caleb and Sofie as he passed their bedrooms, he made his way downstairs to get a glass of water.

"You steal my bed and then you don't even sleep?" Danny's voice as he tried to sneak past the living room without being seen. "The _nerve_!"

Teddy sighed and, against better judgement, walked into the room. "I'm not tired anymore, I fell right asleep when I went up. I'll take the couch now- you go upstairs."

Danny- wrapped in a blanket with a cell phone in his lap and a table lamp the light the room beside him- smirked. "I was kidding you know." He held up the cell. "I just called Clare to check on your Mom. Apparently she was better after she had something to eat- sometimes she just gets agitated like that, I guess."

Teddy looked away. "I'll have to go back tomorrow."

Danny nodded. "We can call ahead, if you want."

"I need to get used to seeing her like that," Teddy said, shaking his head. Then, he remembered: "I'm sorry I reacted like that today."

"I think you acted how any normal person would. I'm sorry I didn't properly prepare you- it must have been a shock."

"I don't think I've apologised as much in the last fourteen years as I have to you today," Teddy admitted and Danny just laughed.

"I guess we both have a lot to be sorry for."

Teddy didn't like where this was going- where it had the potential to lead, if he allowed it, so he changed the subject. "Why did you and Elena break up?"

Danny blinked at him. "Didn't I tell you? We were too different; we wanted different things."

It was the worst lie he had ever heard, so he didn't feel guilty for pushing. "I mean, why did you _really _break up?"

"She stopped loving me," Danny said finally, after a few moments of painful silence, "and I guess I stopped trying to make her."

Teddy could relate. He folded his arms so he wouldn't reach out for Danny's hand, which he was aware was only mere inches away now. "I'm sorry."

Danny looked up. "It was years ago- I'm over it." It probably wasn't even much of a lie- maybe he _was _over Elena. But, like Sofie had pointed out, that didn't mean he was over Martin Fitzgerald.

"Has there been anybody since?"

Danny smirked again, and Teddy wanted the ground to open and just swallow him whole. He knew what this sounded like: somebody who cared, a little too much, about Danny's love life.

Which was, in all honesty, exactly what was.

"No one serious."

"And now? Are you-I mean, is there somebody…?" He was babbling, anxiety eating the chest out of him as he tried to rail this conversation around and failed miserably.

"No way." Danny laughed. "Middle-aged FBI agent with a teenage son and an adult daughter and little time for anything else but work and baseball games- not a huge seller, believe it or not."

Teddy could think of a million ways to describe Danny Taylor- loyal, protective, loving. Reliable, selfless, dedicated. Funny, gorgeous, a smile that lit up a room. He was perfect- or at least he had been, for Martin, fourteen years ago.

Teddy didn't want to think anymore, so he just sat down beside Danny on the couch, so close he could feel the other man breathing. "You realize I can't be the person you remember, don't you?"

Danny inched away, and every hope Teddy had regarding them crashed to the ground.

"I _wish_ I didn't," Danny said, and just like that, it all fell apart again.


End file.
